A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of The United Defenders League,It’s final, I’ll call it:
THE SPRING LULL IS OVER!!!Cue the summer lull. Nah, but this is as good opportunity as ever to announce that business is back to usual, as new recruits have begun to pore in again (Welcome Zaklen and Nuvu!), after several weeks of admittedly humdrum business; mostly focusing on cracking off the administrative to-do list and completing the occasional de-tag or starring at the massive piling occurring in Scotland and Region of Reunited Muslim States -- in Region of Reunited Muslim States, rather extensive griefing has occurred over the past few weeks with the raid helmed by The Black Riders with assistance from The New Inquisition, The Black Hawks, The Kingdom of Denmark and The Land of Kings and Emperors ; approximately 64 natives have been ejected and banned (or around 70% of the region). Natives suggest that the griefing is anti-Islamic and have been pooling refugees into “
RORMS” while their region is still being griefed and unfortunately piled by raiders.
Speaking of region griefing; Fischistan, a merryman with The United Defenders League has a WA Liberation coming to vote in a day to liberate The United Kingdom of Britain, which has been passworded and is being griefed by The Greater German Reich. If the WA liberation passes, I’m sure it’ll be a hot topic in the next update as defender forces will be squaring off against Nazi forces (our *favorite* guys to beat on).
As far as administrative stuff goes, as I said we had been primarily focused on administrative stuff. We’ve *finally* got the Senior Merryman program installed and released for merrymen.
Senior Merryman is a rank that all Merryman qualify for if they pass a standardized and particularly rigorous written exam based on our new UDL guide (which is the *best* defender guide I’ve ever seen, by the way) and demonstrate practical proficiency at liberating, defending and detagging. There was a nasty myth going around that troops from The United Defenders League are plentiful, but untrained and I hope with this new program we’ll see that myth nipped in the butt as Merrymen work towards the Senior Merryman position. All new lieutenants will have to be Senior Merrymen first, before being eligible for lieutenantship; so I can see this being a great incentive to get studying! A pass on the rigorous, closed-book written exam is 90% and a failure to pass requires merrymen to wait one week before attempting to write the exam again. Good luck to all budding Senior Merrymen!
We also, on the subject of administration, have two new awards which will be handed out this month: Triggerperson of the Month and Recruiter of the Month. Recruiter of the Month is self-explanatory; Triggerperson is a role in a modern army that requires a lot of technical skill and requires people to excel in performance under extreme pressure, essentially their job is to calculate and deliver the “move-time” for a mission. I look forward to awarding two well-deserving recipients at the end of the month. Furthermore, during the administrative clean-up, I decided that the main “defender” puppet storage region, Kyzikos, needs a regional flag! If you have ideas, please submit them
here.
Also, we’re very pleased to welcome Dalimbar into our staff as a Senior Policy Advisor and he’s been spending the past week or so providing advice on internal matters and foreign policy; I look forward to working with him in the coming months. Dali has a very long track-record as a successful feeder politician and seasoned foreign affairs expert.
Okay enough administrative stuff. Let’s get to the nitty gritty; in the past few days, we’ve been catching up for lost time with various liberations and defences. Out of defences, my personal favorite must be “Continent of Pwned”, where raiders were pwned: attempting to make it look as though defenders had raided the region, the raiders were swiftly and effortlessly ejected and banned from the region by the defender lead. As for liberations, we had a great liberation against DEN in Great White Brotherhood (not a supremacist region) – the final score was 7 to 5 for endorsements.
Likewise, yesterday, we liberated Hong Kong from Aphroditean Empire, in a close 6-5 victory. Now, this mission wasn’t large enough to earn a mission ribbo--
<+Soviet_Canuckistan> and I assume the ribbon will be ready soon
Alright, alright Soviet Canuckistan. I suppose it was a fun mission. Here’s the official mission ribbon:
Okay, um final news for this update; congradulations to Ipeland, who is now hosting the prestigious Baptism of Fire tournament in NS-Sports and.. oh yeah, here’s a load of Moments of Zens.
<@Solm> Watch out for Sexiness.
<@Solm> The region, not Carta 
<@Mahaj> GREETINGS UDL
<@Earth> GREETINGS, MORTAL.
<@Mahaj> 
<@Mahaj> don't have to rub it in
<@Unibot> That's going in the next update
<@Milograd> ?
<@Milograd> that's our moment of zen?
<@Milograd> goddamn it i had a streak goign >:
<@Milograd> If I'm not included in Zen moments, I lose my purpose in the UDL. :<
<@Mahaj> and by better, he means some sickly nonsense that shamelessly promotes him :p
<@Milograd> Because let's be honest now, that's the most you see of me in the gameplay forum. :<
<@Mahaj> Unibot is a sexy beast who is the shining light of every girl's dreams
<@Mahaj> ^ there. moment of zen
<@Earth> that's why we sleep with the lights off, Mahaj
And when Mall (raaarrh, raider) snuck in our IRC Channel:
<Mall> hahahahahaha come to the dark side. we have... well we have GWB and RORMS.
<@Goobergunch> you have George W. Bush?
<@Goobergunch> EWWWWW
<Mall> BLEH
And finally,
HOW I ALMOST MET UNIBOT
-By Tim-Opolis. Chief of the Van
It was a sunny day in Florida. I was chilling at Universal Studios in Orlando Florida. Buying up my Slytherin merchandice at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. When suddenly out of the corner of my eye. I saw it! There was only one of this bot anywhere! It was a Unibot! But then I thought about it. "But wait. Unibot lives in Canadia." But it looked so much like him. I was tempted to go over and say hi so I could have the chance of blackma *cough* meeting the leader of the UDL, but I thought it would be awkward if it wasn't him. So I kept walking, still certain that I had seen the one robot that must be Uni Bot. Later, I was chilling in the Three Broomsticks, sipping on my Butterbeer, when I saw him again. Sitting at a table, eating what seemed to be chicken, was that Unibot character that I think defends or something like that. I was sure it was him! Yet he was with what looked like Parental Bots so I did not approach for I was with my homies. And one does not simply abandon their homies to go meet a Bot. Even if it is the Uni Bot. So I walked away.
Later on MSN, This One Bot and I were talking and I found out that it actually was him. I raged. I screamed. I didn't break a keyboard over my knee. But I was pretty damn angry. This had been a chance to blackma *cough cough cough* say hello to the guy that tried to Commend Just Guy. The guy that some TNI troops still don't know. Unibot. It was a terrible moment. I wept deeply. And then I got over it. And went to eat some bacon.
The End.
That's 100% real, by the way.
May Justice Never Be Abandoned,Unibot
