A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of the United Defenders League, Well it has been a helluva week!
In this past week or so, The United Defenders League has been busy liberating regions like Baghdad and The Blood Cave against the Aphroditean Empire and the Black Hawks and DEN. In addition to liberating Zen this morning from the Europeian Navy and last major, Confederation of Democratic Socialists from god knows who. Kudos to The Founderless Regions Alliance Rangers for helping out on some of those liberations. Normally, I wouldn’t present ribbons for a comparably smaller liberation, but the artistic opportunity of a ribbon for Zen was irresistible – so all twenty-something merrymen received this ribbon this afternoon for a job well done:
Don’t wave this puppy around boys; the bad guys might think you’re surrendering.Anyways, yeah, it has been a decent week to dust off the military chops. A lot of detagging (restoring previously raided regions) though, since it’s been a rather laborious week to clean up the mess left from several nights of tag-raids. Nonetheless, the merrymen are keeping up the good fight and restoring what was left in ruin along the aimless path of regional devastation. Some of our newest members that have joined to carry that good fight include our first MERRYCAT, the Asylum Manager, Fluffy Pink Kittens (see a trend here), Reselia, Crontor from International Incidents and Coolboygcp!
On the subject of new members, [violet], site admin of NationStates
recently announced a moratorium would soon be implemented on all so-called “auto-recruiting scripts”. Now of course, The United Defenders League has indeed been using an auto-recruiter, although we don’t suspect that the loss of the tool will hurt our membership projections – at least not radically. So, on one hand this is a loss, on the other hand, we could look on the bright-side and suggest this is our way of regaining some freedom from wacky responses to auto-recruitment telegrams! Some of my favorites received in response to The United Defenders League’s advertisement include:
"I saw two words in your telegram. Immediately and destroy! I only assume one thing, you want to destroy me. Well screw you guys I'm going to join someone who can protect me!"
Good lord, I can think of two words I’d rather he had read.
"It would be great if you stopped slavery"
That’s me, Abe “Unibot” Lincoln.
" Can I be a raider and a defender at the same time? I joined this game to take over regions and bend the weak to my will, but your organization sounds like the type of thing I might enjoy too."
Mitt Romney called, he wants his self-contradictoriness back.
"HOW ABOUT YOU GO **** YOUR OWN **** AND THEN SHOVE A PIECE OF **** UP YOUR OWN ********!!!! thats what I think of your bull***** **** mc**** piece of **** telegram"
I admire your passion and colorful choice of asterisks!
Our sincerest apologies to anyone who received double, triple etc. telegrams from our auto-recruiting nation last night,
according to Solm, “the host developed an error that kept on restarting all [his] running processes there, but never killing any of them, so it just kept on making new instances of [his] auto-recruiting script”. Prompting Klaus Devestatorie, of course, to suggest that script had become SELF AWARE!! The problem has since been fixed; once again, sorry to anyone who was contacted multiple times, it certainly was not our intention. HHhhhm, on the note of Solm.
Congratulations to Solm and Zwangzug for their promotion to the rank of Lieutenant. Solm is the founder of Ellorea and formerly, Judea, an International Incidents star and one of our tech gurus in addition to an incredibly reliable defender who has been with the organization almost since its genesis. Zwangzug is one of the leading members of NS-Sports and one of the most dependable defenders we have on our staff, she’s always around when we need her to help out with a liberation and she’s been working with us since the very beginning too. These promotions, of course, follow the retirement of Ballotonia, whose service to the defending world is absolutely legend; very rarely does someone have the pleasure to have their heroes join them in their cause – he was an inspiration. Ballotonia is retiring to remain neutral in the game since he’s currently an admin-in-training/code-monkey/thingy – if you’re interested, I’d check out the
Advanced Dossier tool that Ballotonia is trialling.
On the subject of Zwangzug, Zwangzug has been organizing The Tournament of the Golden Arrow – it started with 85 competitors, it’s down to just two: Bashan Korxlon of Milograd, the condemned, racist, genocidal hellhole that is new to NS-Sports vs. Aüra Agira of Jasĭyun, managed by Commerce Heights, the commended veteran of NS-Sports and founder of NS-Economy –- couldn’t be more of an interesting finale for the tournament! If you want to participate, feel free to contribute to the roleplay with commentary
here.
Lastly, The UDL Monthly Awards will kick off this week and I’ll announce the winners either in an extra or another update.
Question for the Embassy: Ravania is running bets on the UDL forum on how much the population of NationStates will drop on Sunday night since it is 28 days after the IPO, April Fool’s event– take your bets in that thread or post them here and I’ll add them to the list. How much do you think NationStates’s population will drop on Mondaygeddon?
Here’s your Moment of Zen,
<@Unibot> I remember pre-public UDL.
<@Unibot> That was fun. 
<+Quadrimmina> What Quad read: pre-pubic UDl.
<@Carta> p. much the same thing, Quadrimmina
<@Carta> we've...
<@Carta> ...
<@Carta> grown since then...
<@Carta> @_@
<+Quadrimmina> Haha.
<+Quadrimmina> The UDL hit puberty?
<@Carta> it's natural
<@Carta> and it happens to all organizations
<+Quadrimmina> It's just a part of growing up.
<+Quadrimmina> Nothing to be ashamed of.
* +Quadrimmina fears the day that the UDL's sex drive kicks in.
<@Carta> already has probably
May Justice Never Be Abandoned,Unibot
