I suspect that our dear Soly suffers from a severe fear of cuteness. But this too can be cured, with time and patience. He must be strapped into a chair (to prevent harming himself, of course), and a television placed before him, through which he will be subjected to a long series of video tapes, which would include such media rife with cuddly puppies and kittens, Teletubbies, and assorted giggling, blissful children. His nourishment should consist of such cheerful dishes as Micky-Mouse-shaped pancakes, Happy Meals complete with toys, clown sundaes, and smiley-face cookies. Mental health aides assigned to his care will be equipped with state of the art ear plugs, to prevent ear damage resulting from the onslaught of cursing and screaming that is common from such sufferers in the early stages of treatment. This must be repeated daily until such time as he is cured. Fear not, Soly. We are determined to help you.
