Pirates or Ninjas? (Home of the Taijituan Pirates! Yarr!)

[Khablan]

A crocodile would be just the thing!  He could eat any enemy seadogs that try to sneak on board in the night.  Just so long as he doesn't mistake our pirates for the enemy, mind you.  Arrr.  Is he leash-trained?

Barakarin, of course ye'd be pillagin' with us!  Ye row us to shore in our sneaky little rowboat, then tie it off and join us on our merry spree.  Hope somebody fixed that leak.  Last time, I nearly had to swim for it!

Now I wonder if yon Empire can outswim a harpoon... I'd hate to see the lad end up sharkbait.  Empire, you can't jump ship!  Who would be in charge of the ammo and fireworks?  Not to mention bowling night??

[Bara]

ah ill fix the leak

*goes off the fix the leak*

OH GOD!! ITS A MERMAID!!!

[PoD Gunner]

Yes Ma'am....I mean Capt'n, Eduardo is leash-trained and obedient as a young puppy, as long as he's well fed...I'll see to that.

*starts sharpening a harpoon* Feel bad about it Capt'n, but I won't harpoon that dog, KR. Not saying no to the mermaid though.......arghhhhhh!

[Khablan]

Aye, mermaids be fair game - they're half fish anyway.  They'll never be extinct anyway, because of their highly developed defensive trait.  You know what I mean - that bare nekkid ripeness that tends to hypnotize any males bearing harpoons.  By the time they come to their senses, the creature's gotten away.

[PoD Gunner]

mh...I'll try wearing two eye-patches and rely on my extra-sensorial abilities for the aiming....yarr....that be a good solution!
Arghhhhhh! Let go of my hand, Eduardo! Stupid beast. Guess I need to feed him.

[The Empire]

*rips cord to inflate life jacket*

[Khablan]

So what exactly does Eduardo like to eat?  Mermaids, perhaps?  Or maybe pirates who jump ship?

Hmm, good thing my name isn't Cap'n Hook. 

[The Empire]

*drops something in the water*

[Bara]

*pulls out a Ak-47*

DIE YOU HALF FISH HALF FEMALE HUMAN!

*Begans to pour bullets into the Mermaid, watching the body twist everywhere as it is hit by the Bullets*

[Allama]

Oi, man overboard!  Come about!

* Alana realizes she's still in the water, too...

Damn it all.  I'll have to swim for it.

[Bara]

*Notices Allama*

Hey...it sorta looks like a mermaid"

*Runs below, grabs a RPG-7 and runs back to the main deck*

"Die Mermaid..."

*Fires the Warhead*

[Khablan]

Avast there, matey!  Ye can't hit Allama!  Maaaaaaaan overboard!  Er... Womaaaaaaaan overboard! 

Jack, don't just stand there!  Go protect Allama!  What do you mean, you can't catch bullets with yer teeth?  What good are ye, then??  Oh fine, fine. 

Eduardo, go knock that Barakarin over and hold him down!  Jack, grab that weapon out of the boy's hands!

No cookies fer you, Barakarin!

[Bara]

That's Allama! OH JESUS!

*Jumps and blows up the warhead, a safe mile from Alamma*

Ah, thank god for remote detonation and what do you mean! No cookies for me!

[PoD Gunner]

*looks at the odd scene from the lower deck* Eduardo boy, Capt'n Khab needs ye! *kicks the lazy reptile in the right direction, then as Eduardo grabs Barakarin foot firmly and starts closing his jaws, starts playing his fiddle to cover-up the screams* Yee-deedly dum, yee-deedly dee, dare to shoot Allama and Eduardo'll chew up thee!

[Khablan]

That were a bit too close to calamity!  We'll give Eduardo the mermaid remains fer a feast tonight, he's earned his keep!  And an extra bottle o' rum for PoD!

Barakarin, me boy, ye got to use yer spyglass before ye go shootin' at anything that moves!  If ye'd harmed Allama there, yer mateys would have keel hauled yer butt fer sher.  Arrr.  But I guess this means ye can have yer cookies after all.