Adulthood

[Allama]

The early- and mid-20's are an interesting time, to me: you more-or-less know who you are and have the "teen identity crisis" solved to the point where you're comfortable with both the lasting and ever-changing parts of yourself, but now you have to go off on your own and test drive that adult self.

I've considered myself to be an adult for a year and a half, counting time spent living alone and self-sufficient "for real", college dorms and whatnot excluded.  Do you guys think time spent in college is adulthood if you do it right out of high school and still have some degree of parental support, or does it only "count" if you do it completely by yourself?

Personally, I think the college experience is, for most people in the culture with which I'm familiar, adulthood with training wheels.  You learn to dictate your own schedule to an extent, some students start paying their own bills, and you have to care for your physical and mental wellbeing without (as much) parental guidance.  Many students take another step forward by going from a dormitory to an apartment at some point in their college career, forcing them to shop for groceries, cook, and clean for themselves considerably more than they had to previously.

Odd as it may seem, I feel that not having completed a four-year stint at uni. kick-started my growth into a fully-functioning "grown-up" as I began to live alone and take care of myself with little to no outside interference just after turning 20.  (This is not, of course, intended to devalue formal education; I quite desire to go back as soon as I am able.)

Pardon my musings; I've gone on long enough.  What are your thoughts?

[Bara]

you know, adding to this, what about teenagers? when do we finally be seen as mature in adults eyes?

when do we stop have to worrying about been harrsed by other stundets.  i tell you, that can really hurt you, and lower your self esteem. (when a damn 6th garder syas that he loses IQ when you sit next to him, and trys t shove you out, how would you feel, and no smart ass comments from you, prag)

[kor]

Adulthood sucks. Responsibility sucks even more. I will sum up adulthood. Go to work; come home. Pay some bills. Lather, rinse, repeat.


Oh and if you're really lucky, you find someone that can stand you for more than ten minutes; you get married and start a family.
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Really it all depends on your experience in college. Many students go through college and never really grow up until their last 2 years there. For me personally I didn't go to college until I was 20. Being in the Peace Corps and traveling the world helped me become an adult very quickly. Although even if I had just gone to college I think the same would've happened. When I did start attending I had to pay my own way. Maintaining a job and school at the same time is really hard. I think that would have propelled me to adulthood quickly. So, really it's about what you experience that makes you mature into an adult. Personally, I think those that don't attend college have to face the reality of being an adult much sooner.

[Bender1968]

you know, adding to this, what about teenagers? when do we finally be seen as mature in adults eyes?

Teens are never mature in adult eyes.

when do we stop have to worrying about been harrsed by other stundets.  i tell you, that can really hurt you, and lower your self esteem. (when a damn 6th garder syas that he loses IQ when you sit next to him, and trys t shove you out, how would you feel, and no smart ass comments from you, prag)

It goes from students to co-workers, the good news is you realize that you don't have to take it and when you stand up to someone they back down quick.

[Delfos]

You are whatever you think you are. We can't say you're an adult...the "lasting and ever-changing parts of yourself" seem to be a physical evidence, and I sure look for "adult" women (instead of girl) by those parts.

[Allama]

Really it all depends on your experience in college. Many students go through college and never really grow up until their last 2 years there... So, really it's about what you experience that makes you mature into an adult. Personally, I think those that don't attend college have to face the reality of being an adult much sooner.

I certainly agree.  When you're a full-time student (even one working a bit while studying) who has gone straight from living with parents to living in a dorm and receives support, you simply haven't faced the full gauntlet of adult challenges the way someone who left home to work or go abroad between high school and college would have, or someone who is doing it 100% on their own even right out of high school.

One could, of course, argue that neither has one who has not been married, had kids, etc., but let's leave that argument for later as I just want to address the issue of self-reliance.

the "lasting and ever-changing parts of yourself" seem to be a physical evidence, and I sure look for "adult" women (instead of girl) by those parts.

That's not what I meant: I mean the changing parts of your self.  The body is nearly irrelevant.  The core of who you are may remain very stable throughout your adult life, but many of the attendant parts (such as your outlook and personality) will inevitably continue to evolve.  You are not likely to be the same person at 60 that you are at 25; life changes you.

[Eientei]

College is a lot like living between childhood and adulthood.  "Adulthood with training wheels" is a great analogy.  Of course, the college experience can differ depending on whether you have to work throughout to pay tuition, room and board or not.  I managed to get a cushy job at the university library through the school's work-study program, though.

[Delfos]

yes but it goes both ways :p

[Of Crazed]

Let me just say I'll need the training wheels.  That's not to say I am also an irresponsible person, just no where near being a responsible.

[Allama]

Let me just say I'll need the training wheels.  That's not to say I am also an irresponsible person, just no where near being a responsible.

In other words, you're normal.    I'm very glad to have had 3 semesters of training wheels, myself; it straightened out a lot of crap for me that would have gotten in the way had I gone straight into the workforce from high school.

[kor]

Let me just say I'll need the training wheels.  That's not to say I am also an irresponsible person, just no where near being a responsible.

Well, not everyone has parents rich enough or in my case willing to pay(a long story >_>) for those "training wheels". 

[Meridianland]

It all depends on the person, the circumstances, and the necessity.  There are high schoolers that are way more mature than their middle aged parents....

It also depends on the amount of cowbell

[B9 perspective]

It all depends on the person, the circumstances, and the necessity.  There are high schoolers that are way more mature than their middle aged parents....

It also depends on the amount of cowbell

agree with this^ ....there are soooooooo many variables that compose outlook and maturity. Certainly, experience can influence and stimulate new perspectives, but often unpredictably.....also, people can be very grown up about somethings and remain very childlike or childish (or both) in other areas. Growing up too soon can have childlike haunting side effects. I love Cowbells.

[kor]

Haunting side effects? Only if you're weak! 

[Of Crazed]

I'm lucky.  Though I have held a job all through High School, but I couldn't do it without a lot of help.