You: You're going to die in 23 years of a coronary embolism. You? You're going to live in Tuscany with your mother... *and your boyfriend!* You: Telemarketer. You: Lite FM radio DJ. You? You will raise poodles. And not the big kind that win prizes. No, the annoying little kind that go, "Bap! bap! bap! bap! bap! bap! bap!