Two Options

[Tacolicious]

Of course with $1 millions dollars you could buy many brownies, but if you decide to blackmail for a plate of delicious homemade brownies you have two options.

Accept the brownies and hand over the porn or Accept the brownies and post the pics on the internet anyways

[Allama]

Of course, it'd be better to post them on the internet anyway (you'd have porn AND brownies, what could be better?), but if you decide to be honest and hand over all the porn you will eventually get bored and need something else to do.  In this case, you have two options:

You can either seek entertainment at the movie theatre or go to a real theatre.

[Tacolicious]

Of course legitimate theater is always better then a simple movie, so when you go to the movies you have two options

Cookie cutter written college buddy movie; or
Nothing but pointless gore and screaming movie.

[Trey]

Of course it would be better to watch the pointless gore and screaming movie (Grindhouse), but if you watch, for the millionth time, the cookie cutter written college buddy movie, you can either:

Watch the entire movie as your IQ plummets to zero
or
Go on a rampage, shooting up the movie theater, getting caught and shot by the police, and ending up in hell...AGAIN.

[New History lovers]

Of course, an IQ drop could only do well for your extreme boredom, but going to Hell suits you, you have two options:

Die and go to Hell's Hell; or
Die and go to Hell's Heaven.

[Tacolicious]

Of course Hell's hell would be better, but in hell's heaven you have two options.

Use one of the old methods to get out of hell; or
Think up a new way to keep the demons on their feet

[Larry]

Of course, it's better to stick with what you know, but if you think of a new strategy you have two options:

Ask nicely to be released; or
Plan a complex scheme involving several potatoes and a walrus

[Tacolicious]

Of course a nice simple asking would be best, but with a complex scheme you can either...

Just get the potatoes and Walruses together and hope the details resolve themselves; or
Sit down and figure out just how you'll make this craziness work

[Larry]

Of course, it would be better to work out all the details, but if you just collect up all the components you have two options:

Steal a walrus from the zoo of Hell; or
Find a nice patch of soil to grow potatoes

[Tacolicious]

Of course it'd be better to keep the options straight, but if you find a nice patch of soil in which to grow Walri you have two options

Find a walrus willing to plant it's seed in the ground; or
try sprout a clone from a walrus tusk

[Larry]

Of course, it would be better to get the walrus seed directly from a walrus, but if you try to clone one you have two options:

It works; or
It doesn't

[Allama]

Of course, it would be better if it failed so you'd be forced to come up with a better plan, but if it works you have two options:

You can either wait until they mature fully or you can pull them out of their tube a week early.

[Larry]

Of course, it would be better to wait until they're ready but if you jeopardise the entire plan by being impatient you have two options:

Get eaten by half-grown mutant walri; or
Tame the half-grown mutant walri

[orsis]

of course it would be better if u tamed the walri but if u get eaten by 1 u have 2 options:

fight ur way out
or learn to be a symbiote of the beast

[Tacolicious]

Of course it'd be better to merge with the Walri, but if you fight you're way out you have two options. Either you fight your way out the mouth, or... well.... there's really only one other way out of a walrus and I think we all know what it is... ewww...