Two Options

[orsis]

of course it would be better to moan braains! but if  u decide to do your bit for the community you have two choices

1. eat all the criminals
2. scare any STD infected hookers from the community

[Tacolicious]

Of course it'd be better to eat the criminals (Mmmmm Braaiinnnsss....) but if you scare off the infected hookers you have two options.

Rely on be a single scary zombie to try and scare them away; or
Turn some kids into zombies to help you.

[tak]

Of course it would be better to turn some kids into zombies, but if you rely on a single scary zombie, you have two choices:

Choose Zombie Jesus, or
Choose Zombie Saddam

[Larry]

Of course, Zombie Saddam is much scarier, but if you choose Zombie Jesus you have two options:

Be converted to Christianity; or
Convert Zombie Jesus to atheism

[tak]

Of course, it is better to convert Zombie Jesus to atheist, but if you choose to be convered to Christian, you have two options:

be a Catholic, or
be an Orthodox

[New History lovers]

Of course being Orthodox would be better, but if you become Catholic, you have two options:

Say the Ave Maria
or
Go to confession

[Larry]

Of course, it would be better to say the Ave Maria, but if you choose to go to confession you have two options:

Confess about trying to conquer hell on a regular basis; or
Make up a gripping tale of mystery and intrigue

[Tacolicious]

Of course it'd be better to make an honest confession, but if you go for the gripping tale you have two options

Make up  story about being a renegade priest on the run from the churches secret "Pew 13" organization which is attempting to nuke the south pole. It was in your church that you found their plans to nuke the south pole and having been a good priest you welcomed a family of penguins into your congregation and now you can not help but think of all the poor penguins that will be deep fried in their icy home.

or

Make up a story based roughly on the plot lines of Heroes and that your power is the ability to turn holy water into rum. Then try to get the priest to drink all the holy water he can to see if he gets drunk or not. Wait a little while and when nature calls steal all the wine and holy cookies and run for the streets

[Larry]

Of course, that first thing you said would be better, but if you choose to steal all the holy stuff and risk incurring the wrath of Zombie Jesus, you have two options:

Stash them under a mattress; or
Eat the evidence

[Tacolicious]

Of course it'd be better to eat the delicious evidence, but if you stash it under the mattress you have two options

Stash it under the mattress until you can find a buyer; or
Keep it there until you can destroy zombie jesus

[Larry]

Of course, it'd be better to find a buyer for it, but if you decide to destroy Zombie Jesus, you have two options:

Use a machine gun; or
Crucify him again

[Tacolicious]

of course it'd be better to use a machine gun, but if you go for a Crucifixion you have two options

Use the standard cross and nails; or
Use an upside down cross with silver nails

[Larry]

Of course, the latter would be better, but if you decide to go for ordinary crucifixion you have two options:

Wait until he's dead, stick a sword in his side to confirm it, then let some grieving women take him to a cave somewhere; or
Wait until he's dead, cremate him, and scatter the ashes in the sea

[Tacolicious]

Of course it'd be better to mess up the body and leave the clean up for others. But if you burn and toss him you have two options:

His ashes fuse with the sea forming the all powerful being known as HydroZus (Hydro Zombie Jesus)
Screw the tossing him in the sea and sell hi ashes as a phony cure for AIDS/Cancer

[Larry]

Well, I think we all know which is the better option there, but if you do end up creating a HydroZus, you have two options:

Reason with it; or
Run like hell