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Author Topic: Two Options  (Read 23246 times)

Offline tak

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Re: Two Options
« Reply #150 on: April 25, 2007, 07:14:48 PM »
Of course, it would be better to walk out through the unguarded back door. But if you choose to get some lawyers on your side and go for the legal route, you have two choices:

Get the best lawyer on Earth, or
get the best lawyer in Hell.
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Offline Larry

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Re: Two Options
« Reply #151 on: April 25, 2007, 07:22:44 PM »
Of course, all the best lawyers are still alive, but if you get one from hell you have two choices:

Atticus Finch; or
Thurgood Marshall
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Enigmatic Comrade of The Party

Those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

Offline New History lovers

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Re: Two Options
« Reply #152 on: April 25, 2007, 08:55:14 PM »
Of course, Thurgood Marshall would be the better choice, since he actually existed, but if you pick Atticus Finch, you have two options:

You find out he's in Heaven, and has no license to practice in Hell, and you are tortured for the attempt; or
Atticus Finch is in Heaven, but he has a universal license to practice in all Afterlifes.
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Offline Tacolicious

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Re: Two Options
« Reply #153 on: April 25, 2007, 11:24:16 PM »
Of course it'd be better if he could practice in hell but if he can't you have two options

Ben Matlock; or
Perry Mason
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http://www.nationstates.net/wheresoever

"Reality is an illusion albeit a persistant one"
"Wisest is he who knows he is not wise"
"Nothing is fun when you have to do it, that's why you don't see a lot of old whores giggling over sex"


Delicious Comrade of the most Awesome Party

Offline Trey

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  • ^ The best film almost no one saw in the 2000s.
Re: Two Options
« Reply #154 on: April 30, 2007, 01:28:20 AM »
Of course since you have completely forgotten who those lawyers are, you pick Perry Mason, who...

Defends you successfully, getting you out of hell
or
Gets held in contempt, serving no purpose whatsoever (and then y :drunks:u still have to pay him)
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"I believe every single person is extraordinary. The tragedy is that we
have a society where too many people never get to fulfill that
extraordinary potential. My view – the liberal view – is that
government’s job is to help them to do it. Not to tell people how to
live their lives. But to make their choices possible, to release their
potential, no matter who they are. The way to do that is to take power away from those who hoard it. To challenge vested interests. To break down privilege. To clear out the bottlenecks in our society that block opportunity and block progress. And so give everyone a chance to live the life they want." - Nick Clegg, Leader of the Liberal Democrats and Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Offline New History lovers

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Re: Two Options
« Reply #155 on: April 30, 2007, 01:54:50 AM »
Of course, it would be better if he won, but if he lost, you have two options:

Sneak out of hell; or
Shoot your way out of hell.
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Offline Trey

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  • Posts: 3957
  • ^ The best film almost no one saw in the 2000s.
Re: Two Options
« Reply #156 on: April 30, 2007, 02:15:12 AM »
Of course, it would be better to act like Solid Snake and sneak out, but there is a new Rambo movie coming out, and this is one hell of an audition.  When you massacre everyone but Satan, you have two options:

Say a really stupid Steven Seagal esque closing line before blowing Lucifer's head off.
or
Accidentally shoot Satan's gay lover Saddam Hussein, therefore pissing off Satan and causing him to grow to new power.
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"I believe every single person is extraordinary. The tragedy is that we
have a society where too many people never get to fulfill that
extraordinary potential. My view – the liberal view – is that
government’s job is to help them to do it. Not to tell people how to
live their lives. But to make their choices possible, to release their
potential, no matter who they are. The way to do that is to take power away from those who hoard it. To challenge vested interests. To break down privilege. To clear out the bottlenecks in our society that block opportunity and block progress. And so give everyone a chance to live the life they want." - Nick Clegg, Leader of the Liberal Democrats and Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Offline New History lovers

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  • The Flag of NHL
Re: Two Options
« Reply #157 on: April 30, 2007, 02:21:12 AM »
Of course, it would be better to blow Lucifer's head off, but if you shoot Hussein, you have two options:

Run like it's 1999; or
Run like hell
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Offline Trey

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  • Posts: 3957
  • ^ The best film almost no one saw in the 2000s.
Re: Two Options
« Reply #158 on: April 30, 2007, 02:28:11 AM »
Of course, you don't have the skills of Prince necessary to run like it's 1999, so you run like Hell (in Hell), and:

Escape to safety through the rip in the space-time continuum that came from you running like hell in hell
or
Escape to the set of The Crow, where you take Brandon Lee's bullet (therefore saving his life), but you return to Hell.
Logged
"I believe every single person is extraordinary. The tragedy is that we
have a society where too many people never get to fulfill that
extraordinary potential. My view – the liberal view – is that
government’s job is to help them to do it. Not to tell people how to
live their lives. But to make their choices possible, to release their
potential, no matter who they are. The way to do that is to take power away from those who hoard it. To challenge vested interests. To break down privilege. To clear out the bottlenecks in our society that block opportunity and block progress. And so give everyone a chance to live the life they want." - Nick Clegg, Leader of the Liberal Democrats and Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Offline New History lovers

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  • The Flag of NHL
Re: Two Options
« Reply #159 on: April 30, 2007, 02:32:47 AM »
Of course, it would be better to go back to hell, because no one likes rips, but if you do the former, you have two options:

You materialize in New York, in a cubicle, wearing a suit, staring at a computer screen playing World of Warcraft; or
You materialize in Baghdad, as a Sunni, in a Shi'ite neighborhood, getting shot at by US forces.
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Offline Trey

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  • Posts: 3957
  • ^ The best film almost no one saw in the 2000s.
Re: Two Options
« Reply #160 on: April 30, 2007, 02:35:45 AM »
Of course you don't want to immediately die in Baghdad, so you materialize in New York, where you:

Bash your head into a wall repeatedly for playing the most overrated game since Halo 2 (World of Warcraft)
or
Take out the disc and use it for skeet shooting.
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"I believe every single person is extraordinary. The tragedy is that we
have a society where too many people never get to fulfill that
extraordinary potential. My view – the liberal view – is that
government’s job is to help them to do it. Not to tell people how to
live their lives. But to make their choices possible, to release their
potential, no matter who they are. The way to do that is to take power away from those who hoard it. To challenge vested interests. To break down privilege. To clear out the bottlenecks in our society that block opportunity and block progress. And so give everyone a chance to live the life they want." - Nick Clegg, Leader of the Liberal Democrats and Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Offline New History lovers

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  • The Flag of NHL
Re: Two Options
« Reply #161 on: April 30, 2007, 02:38:01 AM »
OOC: Um..you realize you're supposed to pick the WORSE of the two options?

IC:

Of course, it would be better to use the disk for skeet shooting, but if you bash your head into the wall, you have two options

You go through the wall, killing yourself and resurrecting in Azeroth
You go through the wall, killing yourself and resurrecting in Tyria.
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Offline Trey

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  • Posts: 3957
  • ^ The best film almost no one saw in the 2000s.
Re: Two Options
« Reply #162 on: April 30, 2007, 02:55:25 AM »
That is the worst option.  At least my brain wouldn't melt in Baghdad.  It might become bullet-ridden, but it wouldn't melt.

I have no idea which is the worst option, so I flipped a coin...heads was Azeroth, tails was Tyria.

Tails won.

Of course you'd like to end up in Azeroth, but you end up in Tyria, where you:
Finally find the secret cow level
or
Get eaten by the Killer Rabbit and end up back in Hell.
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"I believe every single person is extraordinary. The tragedy is that we
have a society where too many people never get to fulfill that
extraordinary potential. My view – the liberal view – is that
government’s job is to help them to do it. Not to tell people how to
live their lives. But to make their choices possible, to release their
potential, no matter who they are. The way to do that is to take power away from those who hoard it. To challenge vested interests. To break down privilege. To clear out the bottlenecks in our society that block opportunity and block progress. And so give everyone a chance to live the life they want." - Nick Clegg, Leader of the Liberal Democrats and Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Offline Tacolicious

  • Your Friendly Neighborhood Tacoman
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Re: Two Options
« Reply #163 on: May 01, 2007, 03:34:08 AM »
Of course it'd be better to go back to hell (home sweet home it would seem) but if you find the secret cow level you have two options.

Spend the rest of your days feasting on steaks; or
Let the cows spend the rest of feasting on you sending you not to hell... but to Gre'thor (Klingon Hell)
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http://www.nationstates.net/wheresoever

"Reality is an illusion albeit a persistant one"
"Wisest is he who knows he is not wise"
"Nothing is fun when you have to do it, that's why you don't see a lot of old whores giggling over sex"


Delicious Comrade of the most Awesome Party

Offline tak

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Re: Two Options
« Reply #164 on: May 01, 2007, 05:10:04 AM »
Of course it is better to spend the rest of your days feasting on steaks, but if you prefer to let the cows spend the rest of feasting on you sending you not to hell... but to Gre'thor, you have to options:

Stay forever in Gre'thor; or
Reincarnate as a Somalian
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