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Author Topic: Lightbulb jokes  (Read 6970 times)

Offline Myroria

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #45 on: January 12, 2007, 11:54:29 AM »
How many Myrorians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two: One to change it and one to stone him for defying the light of God.
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Offline Bustos

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #46 on: January 12, 2007, 12:52:23 PM »
Q: How many customer service representatives does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A: 5.  One to incorrectly diagnose the problem, 2 to repeat the first
rep's notes to the customer, and one to inform the customer that the
lightbulb changing service is no longer available in that location.
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Offline Of The US

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #47 on: January 12, 2007, 12:57:58 PM »
Quote from: Bustos on January 12, 2007, 12:52:23 PM
Q: How many customer service representatives does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A: 5.  One to incorrectly diagnose the problem, 2 to repeat the first
rep's notes to the customer, and one to inform the customer that the
lightbulb changing service is no longer available in that location.
thats only 4
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Offline Bustos

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #48 on: January 12, 2007, 12:59:56 PM »
Q: How many Palistinians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 2.  One to negotiate with the old bulb and one to shoot at it at the
same time.


Bah.
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Offline Zimmerwald

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #49 on: January 12, 2007, 03:00:01 PM »
Q: How many Israelis does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One to claim all the territory surrounding the lightbulb
    One to install a new lightbulb socket and lightbulb, leaving the old one where it is
    One to blame the old lightbulb for all of their problems
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Kanzac

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #50 on: January 13, 2007, 03:15:38 AM »
how many Bravehearts to change a Lightblulbs?
2, one to give a specch about it,1 to change it
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Offline Democratic States of America

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #51 on: January 13, 2007, 05:30:18 PM »
How many Torontonians does it take to change a lightbulb?
5,304,100. 1 to screw it in, the other 5,304,099 to talk about what a world class event it was.
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Offline Amy

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #52 on: January 14, 2007, 01:44:05 AM »
How many students does it take to change a lightbulb?
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Offline Talmann

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #53 on: January 14, 2007, 04:19:14 AM »
How many Lexiconians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They would rather leave everybody in the dark.
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Music is the key to the heart.

"Once art to me was something far off, unfathomable and unreachable... But I discovered that the real essence of art was not something high up and far off, it was right inside my ordinary daily self. If a musician wants to be a fine artist, he must first become a finer person. A work of art is the expression of a person's whole personality, sensibility, and ability." -Shinichi Suzuki

Offline Amy

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #54 on: January 14, 2007, 06:44:07 PM »
roflmao
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Offline Sovereign Dixie

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #55 on: January 14, 2007, 06:54:19 PM »
I don't know any lightbulb jokes... but that was just fuckin funny!!
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Offline Ryazania

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #56 on: January 14, 2007, 06:56:14 PM »
I bow to your lightbulb joke superiority, Talmann. That was brilliant.
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Offline Flemingovia

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #57 on: January 15, 2007, 09:09:08 AM »
How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.
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Offline Bustos

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #58 on: January 15, 2007, 12:25:05 PM »
Q. How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?
A1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our
whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned out bulb?
A2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not
up to code.
A3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
A4. Rottweiler: Make me.
A5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
A6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can
I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
A7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from
the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one
more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of
the situation.
A8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the
walls and furniture.
A9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light
bulb?
A10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the
dark.
A11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
A12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
A13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
A14. New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a
little cluster...
A15. Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do
it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light
bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect
some light, some dinner, and a massage?"
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Offline Talmann

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #59 on: January 16, 2007, 12:57:10 AM »
Thank y'all... but I'm afraid I don't got any more right now...
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Music is the key to the heart.

"Once art to me was something far off, unfathomable and unreachable... But I discovered that the real essence of art was not something high up and far off, it was right inside my ordinary daily self. If a musician wants to be a fine artist, he must first become a finer person. A work of art is the expression of a person's whole personality, sensibility, and ability." -Shinichi Suzuki
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