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Author Topic: Lightbulb jokes  (Read 6959 times)

Offline Flemingovia

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  • Official Taijitu Minister of Apathy
Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #15 on: January 06, 2007, 08:04:05 AM »
q: How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They can't  - the light bulb hides behind the curtains every time they come near the house.
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Offline Advanced Weaponry

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #16 on: January 06, 2007, 11:56:11 AM »
Q. How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our
whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not
up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can
I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from
the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one
more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of
the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the
walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light
bulb?

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the
dark.

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a
little cluster...

Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do
it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
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Offline Flemingovia

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #17 on: January 06, 2007, 06:10:37 PM »
q: how many methodists does it take to change a light bulb?

a. Seven. ONe to change the bulb and six to make the pot roast.
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Offline Ryazania

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #18 on: January 06, 2007, 08:00:27 PM »
That made no sense, and I'm a Methodist!
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When the government fears the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government, there is tyranny.

Tyrants from Hitler to Mao to Stalin have sought to disarm their own citizens, for the simple reason that unarmed people are easier to control.

Offline Flemingovia

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #19 on: January 07, 2007, 05:31:38 AM »
Ah well. I thought it was a clever pun on the fact that Methodists always seem to be having lunches and stuff.


Q: How many sado-masochists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to hold it and one to kick the chair out from under him.
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Offline Bustos

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #20 on: January 07, 2007, 02:27:40 PM »
How many Badasses does it take to change a lightbulb?

ONE BADASS!
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Offline Morthia

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #21 on: January 07, 2007, 02:37:25 PM »
Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. He just has to prove that it exists first.

That was crap...
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Morthia, Terras and Ganymede

Offline Talmann

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #22 on: January 07, 2007, 03:52:17 PM »
Quote from: Flemingovia on January 05, 2007, 03:43:16 PM
For the cultured among you...

Q: How many baritones does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They can't get up that high.

Got it.  ;) (also works for altos, lol)

Here's the opposite of that.

Q: How many (tenors/sopranos, take your pick) does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, they hold up the lightbulb and the world revolves around them.
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Music is the key to the heart.

"Once art to me was something far off, unfathomable and unreachable... But I discovered that the real essence of art was not something high up and far off, it was right inside my ordinary daily self. If a musician wants to be a fine artist, he must first become a finer person. A work of art is the expression of a person's whole personality, sensibility, and ability." -Shinichi Suzuki

Offline Daimiaen

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #23 on: January 07, 2007, 08:05:29 PM »
How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb....

Six....one to smash it with his truncheon and five to swear it fell down the stairs.....
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Offline Daimiaen

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #24 on: January 09, 2007, 02:53:57 AM »
Apologies for the double-post....I just had to......

How many Iraquis does it take to change a lightbulb.....

None....they just hang the old one in the hope that solves the problem.....
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Nothing real can be threatened nothing unreal exists....

Political compass....
Economic Left/Right: -5.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -7.08

Offline Zimmerwald

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #25 on: January 09, 2007, 03:47:29 AM »
Quote from: Talmann on January 07, 2007, 03:52:17 PM
Quote from: Flemingovia on January 05, 2007, 03:43:16 PM
For the cultured among you...

Q: How many baritones does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They can't get up that high.

Got it.  ;) (also works for altos, lol)

Here's the opposite of that.

Q: How many (tenors/sopranos, take your pick) does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, they hold up the lightbulb and the world revolves around them.

That is so very very true.  Well, about sopranos at least.  Tenors are so much more humble ;)

Q: How many stage crew does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to change the lightbulb
    Twenty to bitch to the union about how that's not in the contract.
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Offline OPArsenal

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #26 on: January 09, 2007, 10:15:15 PM »
Q: How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Let's go ride bikes!
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I'll meet you at the bottom if there really is one.  They always told me, "When you hit it you'll know," but I've been falling so long it's like gravity's gone and I'm just floating.

Offline PoD Gunner

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #27 on: January 10, 2007, 10:20:17 AM »
Q: How many crypto-communists does it take to change a light-bulb?

A: CHANGE??!!!
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Offline Bustos

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #28 on: January 10, 2007, 11:37:16 AM »
Q.      How many Socialist Workers Party members does it take to change
a lightbulb.
A.      Four. One to change the bulb, one to write about it for "the
paper", one to sell you "the paper" and another to follow you home and
ask why you weren't at the bulb changing, if you plan to make the next
one and if you were still as committed.
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Offline Myroria

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #29 on: January 10, 2007, 12:16:27 PM »
Q: How many junkies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Oh wow, is it like dark, man?

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