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Author Topic: Lightbulb jokes  (Read 6965 times)

Offline Solnath

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #90 on: April 20, 2007, 05:34:00 AM »
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Hahaa, trick question, feminists can't change anything!

(Posted this before in Jokes, but it ought to be here instead.)
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Neutral Evil

Offline Tacolicious

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #91 on: April 21, 2007, 11:42:52 PM »
How many parent's basement dwelling nerds does it take to change a light bulb?

No one knows, they never use em.
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Offline The Empire

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #92 on: April 26, 2007, 11:47:48 AM »
How many texans does it takes to change a light bulb?

None:
*bang! bang! pop!*
"Yeehaw, I hit another one!"
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Offline Allama

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #93 on: April 26, 2007, 06:14:04 PM »
Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Nineteen.  One to propose the change, another to nominate it, twelve more to form a special committee, one to fill out all the forms, three to oversee the task, and one to actually do it (if they have enough funding).
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Offline Of Crazed

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #94 on: April 26, 2007, 11:42:05 PM »
Q: How many Ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 9, one to drop it and the rest to, Pick it up, Pick it up, Pick it up!
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05/04/2008- Never Forget

Offline New History lovers

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #95 on: April 27, 2007, 12:38:01 AM »
How many Talmudic scholars does it take to change a lightbulb?

500.  One to make the argument that the lightbulb MUST be changed, due to a verse in the Tanakh (Old Testament), one to make the argument that, under an obscure passage of Torah (Pentateuch), the lightbulb must NOT be changed, one to make the argument that the lightbulb can be changed or not changed, as anyone wishes, one to have a completely obscure and impossible to understand point that is, well, impossible to understand, 495 to argue for a millennium over the issue, and one to hire a shabbus goy to change the darn lightbulb.
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Offline Algerianbania

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #96 on: April 29, 2007, 07:00:56 PM »
Q:  How many divorce lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A:  3 - one to argue for the rights of the old lightbulb, one to argue
for the rights of the new lightbulb, and one to argue for the rights of
the light socket

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Offline Trey

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #97 on: April 30, 2007, 01:52:38 AM »
Q: How many Lakers does it take to screw in the lighbulb?

A: 14.  Kobe doesn't need anybody else...he can suck alone.
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"I believe every single person is extraordinary. The tragedy is that we
have a society where too many people never get to fulfill that
extraordinary potential. My view – the liberal view – is that
government’s job is to help them to do it. Not to tell people how to
live their lives. But to make their choices possible, to release their
potential, no matter who they are. The way to do that is to take power away from those who hoard it. To challenge vested interests. To break down privilege. To clear out the bottlenecks in our society that block opportunity and block progress. And so give everyone a chance to live the life they want." - Nick Clegg, Leader of the Liberal Democrats and Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Offline Allama

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #98 on: May 04, 2007, 02:57:47 PM »
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: God, you mean that lazy maid didn't do it yet?  Maria, get your BROWN ASS in here or I'll have you deported!
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Offline Union

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #99 on: May 07, 2007, 03:57:55 AM »
Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A:None, they lost the job to the Chinese.
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Offline Algerianbania

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #100 on: May 07, 2007, 04:07:52 AM »
No they lost their job to the MEXICANS. MEHICANOS! Invada de bordera anda steala me jobera! Si. Si. You understand.

God I hate rednecks.
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Offline Union

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #101 on: May 07, 2007, 12:53:03 PM »
Q: How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, they too lost their jobs to the Chinese. No one can be cheaper than us.
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Offline Tacolicious

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #102 on: May 12, 2007, 10:44:04 PM »
How many homeless does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they got no homes...
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"Reality is an illusion albeit a persistant one"
"Wisest is he who knows he is not wise"
"Nothing is fun when you have to do it, that's why you don't see a lot of old whores giggling over sex"


Delicious Comrade of the most Awesome Party

Offline Trey

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #103 on: May 18, 2007, 10:43:04 PM »
How many fanboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Infinity plus one...they'll be too busy being wrong about the PS3 to twist the lightbulb...though I heard Kristen Bell would help.
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"I believe every single person is extraordinary. The tragedy is that we
have a society where too many people never get to fulfill that
extraordinary potential. My view – the liberal view – is that
government’s job is to help them to do it. Not to tell people how to
live their lives. But to make their choices possible, to release their
potential, no matter who they are. The way to do that is to take power away from those who hoard it. To challenge vested interests. To break down privilege. To clear out the bottlenecks in our society that block opportunity and block progress. And so give everyone a chance to live the life they want." - Nick Clegg, Leader of the Liberal Democrats and Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Offline Union

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Re: Lightbulb jokes
« Reply #104 on: June 01, 2007, 03:29:18 AM »
(in no way does this joke represent my opinion on the military)

Q:How many military commanders does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Six...one to draft out the location of the light fixture on a map, one to manage the logistics in bringing in the new light bulb, one to manage logistics to bring in the chair, two tactical commanders to remove the light bulb (in which one gets sniped), and one to screw in the new light bulb, and one to cover the retreat of the others. 
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