From the National News section of the Times of North Yerk:
“Launch of Emperor Jack Marred by Gang Violence in North Yerk
Thousands of people turned out today to see the christening ceremony of the Emperor Jack, the first new warship to be completed at the North Yerk shipyards under President Ryder’s recently approved armament program. The President, after an introduction from Greater Yerk Governor Alvah Goldbook, gave a speech in which he presented his goals for the new fleet, much of which is still under construction. A detachment, with the Emperor Jack as its flagship, is to be sent on what he describes as “a worldwide goodwill voyage, calling at the ports of all the nations of Taijitu.” This initiative is to be launched as part of the President’s plan to raise Duluozia’s international profile. “We are a strong nation, proud of our history and our people,” he said. “It’s time for the rest of the world to see what we can do.”
After the President’s speech, the North Yerk Municipal Marching Jazz Band played the national anthem while the President, the Governor, and Mayor Adam Moorad ascended to a shipside platform for the christening. Each official smashed a bottle of sparkling wine on the battleship’s hull, then together they pulled the lever that released it from drydock into North Yerk harbor.
With a significant number of North Yerk Police Department officers providing security for the christening ceremony, an attempted robbery in the north of the city escalated into a twenty-minute shootout between rival gangs and the police which left one police officer dead and three wounded. Four gang members were also killed, and one was rushed to Saint Irwin’s Hospital where he is currently being held in intensive care. Several more were wounded but escaped.
Despite the shootings, the Presidential Ball is still to be held at the Mayor’s Mansion tonight. The President and his wife are expected to make a tour at Saint Irwin’s to visit the injured officers before proceeding to the ball, where the wife of the fallen policeman will be received as a guest of honor. The Ministers of State and Defense are expected to hold a joint press conference tomorrow in Federal City to announce the names of the Admiral and Ambassador selected to head the Goodwill Voyage mission.”
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Two days later, at the Ministry of State Archival Office outside Smithtown, Nersey…
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Sal Paradise sat in his office, frantically tearing through the stacks of documents that littered his desk. “Come on, come on…” he mumbled under his breath, “Where’d I leave that damn TPS report…” A particularly precarious heap teetered on the edge of the desk, then fell, sending hundreds of loose sheets flying through the air and transforming the room for a moment into a bureaucratic snow globe. A sharp rapping sounded from the door. “What! What do you want?” Paradise snapped, “I happen to be very busy at the moment!”
The door opened and an older man came in, holding a letter. “I’ve got an assignment for you, Agent Paradise,” he said, carefully stepping over the debris scattered on the floor.
“That seems to be all I hear these days, Rob,” Sal sighed, taking the letter from his friend. “This whole diplomatic initiative is all well and good, but there’s only so much we can do. The Ministry needs more Agents!”
“You’ll be pleased to hear, then, that a new Agent has been hired,” Rob said, a soft smile forming on his face. “And you’re being promoted to Ambassador.”
“Bullshit,” Sal interjected. “I call bullshit. I’m a midlevel administrative Agent. I was almost canned two weeks ago for a report I still can’t find. I don’t want any part of any country that would make someone like me an ambassador.”
Rob shook his head and turned toward the door. “I speak only the truth. I snooped in your file. There’s been a shakeup in Federal City. Ambassador Dennison got dropped from the Emperor Jack mission, and you got bumped up. I’m as shocked as you are, but it’s a hell of an opportunity.”
The newly minted Ambassador tore open his letter and skimmed it to confirm the details of his assignment. “They want me in North Yerk in two days…” he stated, dumbfounded.
“Better get packing,” Rob called over his shoulder. “Don’t forget your towel.”
