TGSII’s Noodly Court of Extreme Justice.
Case One.
The Brief: This week, in TGSII’s Noodly Court of Extreme Justice (the court with attitude) Tony Blair is accused of being a wozack. Mr. Blair has chosen to forgo his right to an attorney, and will be representing himself. The prosecuting party will be lead by Mr. Big.
Case Background: Tony Blair has been the Prime Minster of England and The United Kingdom since 1997, when his party (the Labour Party) won the elections. At the time of his election, there were high hopes that he would change the face of politics, especially after the recent downfall of Margaret Thatcher. Since his rise to power, the UK has gone to war, seen ever increasing taxes and Mr. Blair has been re-elected twice.
Mr. Big (not to be mistaken with Notorious B.I.G.) is one of the foremost gangsters (or to use the politically correct term: Organiser Of Acts That Are Carried Out By Misguided People) in Britain. His hobbies include drug smuggling, assassination, gang warfare and Tidily Winks.
The Case:Mr. Blair would like to make a statement to the court.Mr. Blair: “Subjects of Britton, I stand here today, before you, at my wits end. When I dutifully accepted the position of Prime Minister, I promised to rid the world of WMD’s, apprehend prisoners of war and fix the education system. Have I not done these things, and more? Yet still, you hound me and are forcing me to resign. I mean come on. Give a guy a little credit.”
Mr. Big will start the prosecution.Mr. Big: “During his time as Prime Minster, Mr. Blair has been the subject of numerous scandals, been responsible for leaked top-secret government documents and gone on holiday all over the world at other people’s expense. He has claimed to be ridding the world of known WMD’s (which were never actually found) yet has started to process of updating the UK’s nuclear arsenal, when he had the chance to decommission the Trident System, and lead the world in disarmament.
At home, Mr. Blair has raised taxes (especially stealth taxes) again and again, despite repeated promises otherwise. What has he done with this money, thrown it at the NHS, education and national security services, yet with little or no result.”
The Verdict: The court has heard all it needs to, and a verdict has been reached. Mr. Blair is indeed a Wozack, as well as a moron, warmonger, idiot, free loader, liar and numerous other things that don’t bear mentioning here.
Notes:- This is deliberately one sided. After all, it is a NOODLY court of justice.
- If you didn’t already know who Tony Blair was, get out from under your rock.
- Mr. Big really does exist, even if the facts about him are wrong.
Goodbye: Thank you for joining us in TGSII’s Noodly court of justice. Join us next time when we decide weather ants have a right to live on earth.
