A very long list of my favorite quotes

[kor]

Just a really long list of quotes I've compiled. You'll probably notice alot of Quotes from Oscar Wilde. He is one of my favorite authors. I hope you enjoy these Quotes and can maybe use them at some point.



I love scandals about other people, but scandals about myself don't interest me. They have got no charm of novelty. - Oscar Wilde

I only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. - Scott Adams

I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce. - J. Edgar Hoover

I've been in Take That and the Spice Girls... Well, not all of them. (Robbie Williams)

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. - W.C. Fields

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? - Will Rogers

Into every life a little rain must fall, but I think someone's mistaken me for Noah. - Allison Raul

Lady Astor: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea."
Winston Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I'd drink it!"   

Life is like a box of chocolates...a cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, and the taste is fleeting. So you end up with broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a...is an empty box...filled with useless, brown paper wrappers. - 'Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man,' The X-Files

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon

Loyalty isn't standing by someone when he's right... that's good judgement. Loyalty is standing by someone when he's wrong. - Susan Estrich

Memory isn't the facts, it's just a record you keep to yourself. With the facts, memory is useless. - Guy Pearce in Memento

Millions yearn for immorality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. - Susan Ertz

Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Reader, suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

Sincerity is the key. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - George Burns

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. - Woody Allen

There is a very fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. - Oscar Levant

There is luck in chess. My opponent was lucky that he was playing against an idiot. - Jim Loy

There won't be anything we won't say to people to try and convince them that our way is the way to go. - Bill Gates

There's a lot we should be able to learn from history. And yet history proves that we never do. In fact, the main lesson of history is that we never learn the lessons of history. This makes us look so stupid that few people care to read it. They'd rather not be reminded. Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing. - A. Whitney Brown, The Big Picture

"Winston, you are drunk." -Lady Astor
"Yes my dear, but you are ugly, and in the morning I shall be sober." -Winston Churchill

Ninety-nine percent of the people in the world are fools, and the rest of us are in great danger of contagion.' -Thornton Wilder

'No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.' -Helen Keller

'Talk not of wasted affection. Affection was never wasted.' -Longfellow

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it. -Oscar Wilde

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. -Oscar Wilde

Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. - Cyril Connolly

As the island of our knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance. -John Wheeler

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. -Mark Twain

Common sense is that layer of prejudices which we acquire before we are sixteen. -Albert Einstein

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up. - Woody Allen

[Bara]

i liked the Churchill quote   

[Trey]

Here are some more...

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.  Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful."—Joshua J. Marine

“Every man makes his world in his own image.  He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.”—Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

“Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same”—The Fray, All of Us, How to Save a Life

“Well, when a nation's economy is largely driven by fear, what can you get other than more fear?”—The Empire, Taijitu, NationStates

[Allama]

I'll add a couple for now, all from the same wise man:

"You must not lose faith in humanity.  Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

"You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture.  Just get people to stop reading them."

"Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position."

"I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent."

                              - Mahatma Gandhi

[Bara]

"You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture.  Just get people to stop reading them."

wasn't that in your sig for a while?

[Allama]

Good eye, Bara!  It was, indeed, as was the third quote (though not for very long).  I abandoned my poor quotes to make room for my MoC links without having a gigundous signature.

[Bara]

hey! at least the 300 pic looked cool...

[Allama]

No need to be defensive; I wasn't actually referring to you.    I just don't want to have one.

[Bara]

sure... 

[Trey]

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you."

"Every man builds his world in his own image.  He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice."-Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

[Tacolicious]

Here's a good one from the Nintendo VP, circa 1987:

"If video games affected children then everyone who played Pac Man as a kid would be running around in darkened rooms, listening to repetitive electronic music and munching magic pills."

[Omnipius]

   
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
-Albert Einstein

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"To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting"

"Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

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Once you have tasted flight you shall walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will long to return.
-Leonardo Da Vinci

[Tacolicious]

"I never thought I could shoot down a German plane, but last year I proved myself wrong"
 -Grandpa Simpson

[Cyadkuso]

Here are some funny ones, or at least i thought so :

“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.” ~Emo Philips

“I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks.” ~Emo Philips

“At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.”  ~Emo Philips

“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.” ~Will Shriner

“My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth - that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally - but I didn't want to upset him.” ~Jack Handy

And here are some more serious ones :

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.”

“Many years ago when an adored dog died, a great friend, a bishop, said to me, "You must always remember that, as far as the Bible is concerned, God only threw the humans out of Paradise”

“Power corrupts. Knowledge is power. Study hard. Be evil.”

“A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free” ~Nikos Kazantzakis

“A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.” ~Winston Churchill

“I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.”

“Your lost friends are not dead, but gone before, advanced a stage or two upon that road which you must travel in the steps they trod.” ~Aristophanes

“We die only once, and for such a long time.” ~Moliere

[Of Crazed]

One of my fav quotes is from The Royal Tenenbaums

Royal: "Do you think I am an asshole?"

Other Guys:  "No, I just think you're a son of a bitch."

Royal: "Thank you."