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Delegate: East HyliaMonarch: Most Great Britannia[/align]
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Commons Speaker Elected[/SIZE] 
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On the thirteenth of December 2007, His Majesty King Dylan I, held elections within the House of Commons for the position of Speaker of the House of Commons. Five days prior to the Speaker elections, His Majesty re-opened the Parliament. Bootskitten, who won the Speaker elections 3-1-1, won the most votes during the voting period of the House of Commons elections (Bootskitten won nineteen votes). There were three candidates that ran for Speaker during the Speaker Elections; Bootskitten, Gunster, and North Imperia. Only five of the seven members of the House of Commons voted - Bootskitten, Gunster, Aconderoga, North Imperia, and Fenchurch. Two members did not vote during the Speaker elections - Kazaman and TovostikosPrez. After the three-day voting period, Bootskitten won with three votes, and both Gunster and North Imperia won one vote.
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Colony of Zanibar Attacked[/SIZE] [/align]
On the eve of Christmas 2007 His Majesty was notified by representatives of the most kind nation of 'Drop your t-shirt,' from the region Lazarus of an attempted invasion of one of our imperial realms.
Apparently, on December the 17th, The Realm of Mattandia fool-heartedly attempted to invade Zanzibar, which is an Imperial Sultanate within our glorious empire. The dim-witted trespassers were in the midst of giving themselves a major ego boost, claiming how fantastically victorious they would be if they could conquer a region with a mere ONE nation in it (who had not logged into for a month) when His Majesty thwarted their most noob’ish of invasion attempts. Icefloris, an invading soldier of the said renegade realm, stated
"How convenient...The only inhabitant of this region besides us is going to die tomorrow. Unless they have Vacation Mode on..." Little did the pathetic vagabond know that vacation mode was indeed on.
Two days later, when the fools finally discovered this was the case, the wretched vagrant named Autoctonia claimed
"Well, it seems we'll have to stay here a little longer. Please be patient: the victory soon will be ours!" This made His Majesty quite blithe as the irony of the situation was absolute. Finally, the ironically named nation of 'Chrushedmorale' claimed "we shall conquer . huzzah mattandia . huzzah crushedmorale." His Majesty had chucked in copious amounts by now, and stated the following from his sultanate nation of MGB IX "Hey all, welcome to Zanzibar! Nice to see we have a delegate." He then logged into his founding nation of -Most Great Britannia-, which was residing in Londinium at the time, and moved it to Zanzibar to proclaim "I've never seen such a group vagabond n00bs than you lot, good sirs. Congratulations on giving me a right fine laugh. *cackles*...'Tis a shame you couldn't even conquer a region that had only one person in it, that is TRUELY the epitome of pathetic! HA!" The Majestic saviour of Zanzibar let this heap of excrement fester for only an hour more in his realms before growing weary of their craven presence.
At high noon on Christmas Eve His Majesty stated "Well, I was most elated to find you all here, gentlemen, as Zanzibar hasn't had a population this high in, oh, six months at least. It gave me a warm fuzzy feeling to know that you gentlemen would choose to come immigrate here, but I am afraid you've reached the denouement of your stay and must be deported back to the squalid toilet-hole from whence you came. Toodle-pip, and a Merry Christmas to you too!" Then His Majesty deported the ring leader Autoctonia to the rejected realms; Crushedmorale, because His Majesty found that ejecting someone with such a name to be highly ironic and therefore he could not resist the opportunity; and and finally Icefloris because he was stupid. He did not eject Jesus Cat or Mattandian Army as they are pathetic dung heaps who have no power whatsoever, and thus ends the thwarting of the first realistic invasion attempt of an imperial holding. His majesty has stultified this group of filthy marauders and extirpated them from our fair realms before they had a chance to soil our lovely land with their philistine incompetence.
Soon after, His Majesty quickly briefed Foreign Minister Sir Neil Laumeyer on the affair, who went on to say “It's simply shocking that someone would be naïve enough to even attempt it, I am quite jubilant that our regal monarch was able to prevent those renegade beasts from taking our land. What is the world coming to?”When Sir Wennal, Earl of Wessex was notified of the event he was at first incredulous and yelled “REALLY!?” To which His Majesty responded “Yes, it was most fun.”
All is well again in the empire.
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[SIZE=13] Another Colony Attacked[/SIZE] [/align]
With Lord Morrison absent, another group of degenerate filth, which is connected with the attempted Zanzibar invasion, has attempted to conquer The Shetland Islands. As if yesterday was not eventful enough, more foreign invaders have been repulsed from our shores. Another marauding region of filth named "Eeyiyatya" attempted to infiltrate our grand realms. In fact, His Majesty's Imperial Intelligence Agency (HMIIA) has uncovered that this ghastly region is allied with the sordid crétins of The Realm of Mattandia. And like their horrible allies before them, Eeyiyatya has fallen to His Majesty's forces as well. Unlike the attempted invasion of Zanzibar, which had seen more than seven invading soldiers, this army was not nearly as large, simply a small band of savage beasts looking for a raid.
On Christmas morning, His Majesty thought to pay Lord Morrison a visit at his Shetland residence of Scalloway Castle. However, he arrived to a dreadful sight instead. The Castle was vacant and foreign soldiers were climbing upon the shores pillaging the islands, going as far as changing the factbook entry. His Majesty was most displeased with this horrible despoiling of his territory. Therefore, he barred access to the region and changed the factbook entry back from its ludicrous status under the invading armies, claiming the islands to be “Eeyiyatyan territory.”
As retribution, His Majesty decided to conquer the Eeyiyatyan colony of "Lusitania." Lusitania is the Latin name for much for much of the Iberian Peninsula, such as Portugal, the same way Britannia is the Latin name for Great Britain. His Majesty has taken the colony and laid waste to it due to Eeyiyatya’s farcical deeds. Lusitania shall not be returned to them as long as they feel they can merely prance into our realms and take hold; it shall serve as a reminder to their pathetic status amongst the regions of NationStates.
In an unrelated incident, the "Republica Argentina," foolishly attempted to invade The Falklands, but His Majesty responded to their infantile comments, which where basically nonsensical rants claiming The Falklands are Argentinian territory, with "¿De veras? ¡Pedazo de pelotudo!" before securing the region from any invasion attempt.
In short, The Shetlands Islands have been liberated from foreign occupation single-handedly and now is safe for re-entry of the Earl of The Shetland Islands when he returns. All the Empire is now back in our hands. weekend.[align=center]
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House of Commons Revived [/SIZE] [/align]
Shortly after the House of Commons elected Bootskitten as their Speaker, the House of Commons revived its long overdue activity level beginning with the Londinium University Act, and currently a few more articles of legislation are in active debate.
"The House of Commons has been plagued with inactivity for most of the year, and I am quite happy to see that so far this term, that the activity level of the current Commons, has helped change that. My second term as speaker has been more productive and I will have more proposed legislation in the future." stated House speaker Bootskitten.
It has been said perhaps this shall help get Empires of Earth's parliament somewhat out of the inactivity that has plagued it. To date, all but a few members of the House of Commons have been active and the House of Commons bid TovostikosPrez a fond farewell as he resigned from his seat in the House of Commons. A by-election is to be called by His Majesty within the week.
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Happy New Years [/SIZE] [/align]
On behalf of the entire region of Empires of Earth, and its Foreign Affairs department, we would like to wish everyone a great New Years and to ring in the year 2008 with lots of fun and happiness. The next Foreign Update shall be posted within the next couple weeks as the Empire prepares to celebrate its second anniversary.
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On behalf of His Majesty the King, The Royal Family, and the citizens
of Empires of Earth we wish you all the very best of luck in your
regional development.
May the Blessings of Almighty God rest upon your counsels.
Faithfully Yours,
HM Foreign Office
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