Campaign Speech!
Guess it's up to me to do this, considering the illiteracy of my colleague.
So! It may be thought that we are not taking this campaign entirely seriously, but I assure you, nothing could be further from the truth. Our seemingly frivolous behaviour is merely a front; beyond our light-hearted exteriors lie a pair of calculating minds. With a combination of businesslike professionalism and ruthless efficiency, we will do our utmost to restore Taijitu to its former glory.
Nevertheless, there may still be doubts in some people's minds. What, you ask, have these two got to offer Taijitu? What is the appeal of a delegate who types like a drunken tarantula? Surely there are many others better suited to the position? Do these guys even know anything about politics, anyway?
Now, these are all valid questions, but you are forgetting one important point.
Post count.
For some time now, Twitchy has had far more posts than anyone else on this forum, and his post count increases daily. Who else can offer such extreme dedication and commitment to this region?
"Wait!" I hear you cry. "Post count doesn't mean anything! It's all about quality, not quantity!"
However, that's where you're wrong. No matter how much people like to proclaim that post count is unimportant, it is ultimately the one thing by which you will always be judged. And just look at that guy. Over 8,000 posts? Undeniably, nobody can claim to have contributed as much to this forum as he.
Time to address our policies. I have no idea how Twitchy feels about the raider/defender debate, so he is welcome to correct me, but I’d imagine he’d be firmly in support of the raiders. Possibly a controversial choice, but perhaps some controversy is needed in order to revitalise this game.
Which brings me to the other major talking point. NationStates is, apparently, dying. I wouldn’t know, since I haven’t logged in for days, but maybe that’s the point. Anyway, what are we going to do about it if we are elected? Again, this is pure speculation, as I haven’t yet consulted Twitchy about any of this, but I can assume that what he would want us to do about it is absolutely nothing. That’s right, total non-intervention. This is, of course, due to the fact that the Apocalypse is less than a month away, and therefore there’s really no point.
I do have other issues to discuss, but I’m getting bored. I’ll leave it to Twitchy to talk about anything I’ve missed out, and to confirm or deny my wild guesswork.
Poll