Monty Python's Flying Circus

[New History lovers]

I've never tried this as a forum game before, but lets see how it works out:

Monty Python's Flying Circus.

In this, we all must put together "sketches" for Monty Python's Flying Circus.  Each person takes a character in a random sketch, and they must make up their lines as they go along.  Whoever decides to be a character in the sketch, its first come first serve, so just choose what character you want when you jump in.


First: The Fourth Spanish Inquisition.
Setting: An Israeli jail.
In order of appearance -

A Mossad Officer
A Palestinian militant.
Cardinal Ximenez
Cardinal Biggles
Cardinal Fang


The beginning:

Mossad Officer: Now, tell us where the militant leader is hiding, or else, I'll cut your balls off!
Militant: I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.

((I am Ximenez only from hereonout.))

Ximenez: NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!

((Alright, now jump on in!))

[Solnath]

(Mark my words, this will end in tears.)

Militant: What?

[New History lovers]

Ximenez: "Right.  Now, which one of you is the heretic?"

[Solnath]

Militant: Well, I didn't expect a Spanish Inquisition, so it must be him. *points at officer*

[Tacolicious]

Biggles: Isn't there a test for heretics? Blue means you're not a heretic and fire means you are?

[New History lovers]

Ximenez: Yes, of course.  Let us begin to discern.  The heretic is the one who LAUGHS when he is tickled with a PEACOCK FEATHER, while being read a book of dirty jokes.

Cardinal Fang, bring the peacock feather!  Cardinal Biggles, get...the dirty jokes!

[Tacolicious]

*Readies a book from which dirt plumes when opened* Certainly. Ahem... Uhh.. There's too much dirt on them. Wait! This is just a bible covered in dirt. Where did the dirty joke book go! It must be here somewhere. Have the nuns stolen it again, they steal the biggest candles in the church, the rolling pins, the cucumbers, the bananas, the carrots, the wine bottles and now this.

[New History lovers]

Confound those nuns.  Very well.  Cardinal, prepare...THE RACK!

[Solnath]

Militant exchanges worried glances with the officer.

[Allama]

Cardinal Fang comes over with a crazed expression, the peacock feather stuck in his hat and holding a dish rack.

"The nuns said this was all we had."

[Tacolicious]

Cardinal Biggles looks at the dish rack, then at the three heretics... "Very well, let us dish it out then"

[Solnath]

The militant flinches at the awful pun.

[New History lovers]

Cardinal Biggles...tie the Moor to the RACK!

OOC: The militant

[Solnath]

The militant looks oddly at the rack and doesn't resist.

[Tacolicious]

*finishes tying the rack to the militant* This won't be enough... bring me a coat rack, a hat rack and a rack of ribs... that should be rack enough to hold him