CoS: Buckle Your Seatbelts
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As some of you might know, my investigative reporting has been described by the likes of Onderkelkia as "Factually Inaccurate". This is 100% true, because facts are so overrated. Who in their right mind wants the facts!? Wild speculation is so much better.
Why Not Zoidberg? ----> | My experience in NS Media dwarfs my opponent(s) |
Brought The Rejected Times out of inactivity ----> | Served as Editor for 2 months |
Added Rejected Radio to TRR Media Corporation ----> | Brief but successful. Reviews were unanimously good with constructive feedback |
Worked in The Rejected Times for 22 months and counting ----> | Written 28 stories to date and have suggested 39 myself Also received the Kogvuron Award |
To sum it up better, I am innovative, dedicated and seasoned. Opinion pieces are my strong suit so being able write what I want to say will work well for The Voice of The People. Plus, you can expect the following if I am elected Editor:
- Fire & Brimstone falling from the sky
- Annual offerings to the almighty Wast
- Secret meetings where everyone is dressed in ceremonial garb
- Hail Hydra!
- Gladiator fights between supporters of cake and pie.
- Journalists will earn their stories by fighting in the field of battle for the glory of The Sontaran Empire
- Will initiate The Emoticon Wars
My opponent, bigbaldben, would bring order to an otherwise revolutionary Taijitu. We don't want that now do we? If I am elected, the plan is to ensure that it goes something like this:
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and end with this:
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:taijitu:
So yeah, it's gonna be friggin' anarchy.
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Taijitu Food Fights Elections in Full Swing!
The elections for Citizen-Initiator & Editor of the Taijitu publication "Voice of The People" have begun and it looks like this will be a very interesting one. For Citizen-Initiator CivvyThePanda and Eluvatar will be fighting to the death campaigning against one another.
CivvyThePanda has a one day head start on Eluvatar, beginning his campaign on the second Duodi of Gaïôse. Yesterday, Eluvatar formed an exploratory committee to determine whether or not to run and after a day of deep sea exploration soul searching, decided to run. As of now Eluvatar is yet to begin campaigning and Citizen-Delegate Myroria has so far commented on the matter, with eyes wide, pleading with Eluvatar, "I can't take it anymore! The suspense is killing me! For the love of Taijitu, start campaigning already!" during a fit of election induced, hair-tearing stress. The balding Citizen-Delegate's speech became incomprehensible at this point so the interview was postponed pending a psychological evaluation.
Across the street, elections for the editor position of Taijitu's spirited revolutionary publication have gone even better. bigbaldben, primarily known for his involvement in Taijitu worldbuilding, will be facing off against The Church of Satan, known primarily for having a somewhat alarming name. bigbaldben has begun his campaign by promisiing professionalism on his part while stating his opponent would, with The Voice of The People under his direction, advocate:
- Complete and total destruction of Taijitu
- Illegal gambling activities (probably)
- Forty years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes
- The dead rising from the grave
- Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria
Purposefully crossing the streams, The Church of Satan echoed those sentiments in his campaign, declaring:
- Fire & Brimstone falling from the sky
- Annual offerings to the almighty Wast
- Secret meetings where everyone is dressed in ceremonial garb
- Hail Hydra!
- Gladiator fights between supporters of cake and pie.
- Journalists will earn their stories by fighting in the field of battle for the glory of The Sontaran Empire
- Will initiate The Emoticon Wars
After a series of emoticons dictating how he intends for things to go should he be elected, which depicted all out war that would end with him sitting atop a throne as Taijitu worshiped him, celebrating wildly, getting drunk as dissenters were executed, fighting one another left and right as a rebellion formed with neutral observers enjoying the insanity until the administration team transformed into battle mode and locked an undetermined amount of threads, it would then turn out that the chaos served to inspire him in his writing for The Voice of The People so fellow revolutionaries could read it in a state of utter confusion and disbelief. Somebody would eventually glomp The Church of Satan for orchestrating such a fantastic display of disarray and chaos. The Church of Satan summed up what The Voice of The People would be like under his direction stating "It's gonna be friggin' anarchy."
The writing styles of these 2 candidates have received ample praise and with an immense dose of exaggeration(?), have approached each other respectfully as opponents in the current election. It's safe to say that these 2 elections are gonna be a wild ride.