The Lazarene Gazette

[Lenny]

Chairman Funkadelia elected with overwhelming popular support
15TH JUNE 2014, THE FORBIDDEN CITY

Chairman Funkadelia's first official photograph as Fourth Chairman of the People's Republic of Lazarus taken while he was drafting his first statement to the People

On the back of a comprehensive electoral victory, Funkadelia was announced as the People's choice for Fourth Chairman of the People's Republic of Lazarus.

The People of Lazarus were given a choice of six candidates for the Chairmanship, after the resignation of Comrade Kamzr, with strong competition demonstrating the vibrancy of the region with quality candidates, both old and new, seeking the chance to lead the Revolution forward. Many independent observers have seen this election as an exhibition of the superiority of the Lazarene democratic dictatorship.

In a hard fought election campaign a variety of views were expressed but the People voted overwhelmingly for Chairman Funkadelia, who received 58% in the first round of the election which was carried out via the Instant Runoff/Alternative Vote system.

Chairman Funkadelia ran a campaign based on maintaining Lazarus' cultural and ideological roots; boosting regional activity and making sure Lazarus continues to be a beacon for liberation, aiding defenceless regions from outside aggression.

In his first statement to the People on the announcement of his election, the new Chairman said:

"As a regional community, we have a lot of potential. We must tap into this potential and reach into the inner revolutionary inside ourselves and draw that out and make ourselves the best that we can be for our mother region. That is something I plan on being an example of during my term as Chairman."

Swiftly after taking office, the Chairman made his impression on the region's government by dismissing New Kervoskia and Fortress Prussia from the State Council and appointing Ikania as the new Governor of Information, and Editor of the Lazerene Gazette, and Fantome as Governor of the Judicial District. Both have been working at junior levels of government, with Ikania serving as the World Assembly Marshal and Fantome as State Police Chief showing the new Chairman's desire to promote based on hard work and merit - an incentive for all workers of Lazarus.

At the time of publication, a Vice-Chairman was yet to be announced.

Speaking exclusively to the Lazarene Gazette, the new Chairman said:

"I am thankful and humbled by Lazarus' decision to have me lead the region into a new age of prosperity. I plan to look back to the basics of our revolution and the words of our forefathers and mothers and apply that to the current situation of Lazarus. I am excited to bring our march to harmony higher and higher towards success!"

The announcement of Chairman Funkadelia has been greeted with spontaneous celebrations across the Lazarene People's Republic according to Party officials and children across the region born on this day have already been named in his honour.

[Sovereign Dixie]

Here here!

Congrats Funk! Er.. Mr. Chairman.

[Funkadelia]

 

[Lenny]

Interview of Ikania, Governor of Information District, Lazarus and Anin

This week, I interviewed Ikania, the governor of the Lazarene Information District, who generously gave half an hour of his time for the conversation. Responsible for overseeing the publication of the Lazarene Gazette and coordinating Lazarus' skilled journalists and supporting news staff, he has quite a large portfolio in his hands. After being appointed on June 15th, 2014 by Chairman Funkadelia due to the inactivity of then-Governor New Kervoskia, he has undertaken an audacious program of reform and expansion in order to boost activity in the Kazmr Informational Province. During our interview, we discussed various topics in relation to the district, including the current situation, past thoughts and what's in store for the future of the Informational Cadre, and we finished off with his advice to newcomers.

Here is the full transcript of the interview:

Me: Hello, Ikania. As governor of the cultural district, you have a very important role in the government and community of our region. How would you personally describe the responsibilities and tasks of this office?

Ikania: Thanks for having me. Well, as the Governor, it's my duty to ensure that we can regularly put out Lazarene Gazette articles with quality writing. I do admit the District has been experiencing some stagnation, but we have up-and-coming writers for the Gazette which I hope to have a great time with. For example, I've tasked our very own Lenny with writing an article on the events in Warzone Asia. I too am about to get to work on an article on the People's Congress elections as well as the appointment of CoS as Police Chief, so we have a busy future for now.

Me: I see. You have mentioned that currently in the Information District, there is some stagnation. What do you think are the causes of this inactivity, and do you have any plans to increase recruitment to the district or otherwise increase visibility and activity?

Ikania: Well, I think it's because we don't have much to cover. Sure, when there's an event in Lazarus, we'll put out an article, I mean with 30 and counting we're going well, but we never have anything to write about. This is why I want to expand coverage to international events and journalism, as well as publishing articles... well, I don't know the exact word, but take for example the recent article on the Rejected Times talking about the death of raiderism and the rise of Imperialism. I don't know if the term would be philosophical or thesis or whatever, but stuff like that. As for activity, I've already called for Funkadelia to draw a bit more attention to the District, but aside from that, there's not much we can do to draw attention aside from putting a flashy rainbow sign saying 'JOIN INFORMATION' on the top of the front page (my dedicated team of hackers is working on that).

Me: Haha. When you first took up the mantle of this governorship, did you expect that there would be difficulties in terms of activity. If not, what was your initial reaction when you first apprehended the situation?

Ikania: To be honest, I never took it into consideration. I was just looking forward to the next resolution to put forth as WA Marshal then Funk comes over and asks me to be Governor, and I'm like 'das rite homie'. Then I take a look and I'm like 'wow, the only person putting out articles is Lenny'. Good on him. But I think if we take the proper steps, like the aforementioned expansion of coverage as well as shining more light on our district, we can solve this problem.

Me: Where do you see the Gazette and the Information District in, say, a year from now? How successful do you think the changes will be?

Ikania: There's really no telling where we'll be in a year. Lazarus might not even be under our control, and I doubt I'll still be Governor. Though I do hope that the changes will keep us on par with other newspapers. I think the changes are for the better, what we need now is new members. I also think we should utilize the Regional News feature of NS++ to bring it to the users who can't be bothered to go on the forums. Though not many use it, we certainly could attract visitors.

Me: To finish off, what would be the most important advice you could give to new members, such as myself?

Ikania: Join Information. Make sure you're dedicated to it, I want every member of this Cadre to be putting in a contribution. I will not take freeloaders who just stay inactive, I want workers who are willing to put in the time and effort to make this region great.

Me: Thank you for your time, and good luck with your reforms!

Ikania: You too, my friend. Have fun!

[Lenny]

Controversy swirls around "Liberate Haven" proposal
4th July, 2014, Nautarya

The floor of the Security Council was left in quite a ruckus yesterday as Mallorea and Riva, a forum moderator and known raider, tabled a resolution to strike down the password on the historic roleplaying region of Haven, controversially citing as justification that "[raiders] could utilize the region for far more interesting things than the current residents" and that the region was "heavily involved in the 2013 coup of The South Pacific". Originally meeting little resistance, things took a turn when members of the roleplaying community voiced concerns about the draft, noting that the members of the region who participated in the coup were no longer present and that this would set a precedent for the use of Security Council resolutions in order to coerce roleplaying regions into participating in R/D. Many also pointed out that the Security Council was founded to prevent raids and keep regions safe, not the opposite.

Soon enough, activity skyrocketed as the roleplay mentors, a group of veteran posters whose job is to help newer members learn the ropes of the roleplay forums, issued an unprecedented declaration jointly denouncing the proposal, deploring the situation as an "abuse of [the forum moderator] position" and declaring that the status of regional passwords "must remain unchanged for the good of the site". The statement garnered much support from NS players, not so much from NS raiders. Following the posting of this open letter, a word of mouth campaign through the IRC channels of many roleplaying regions combined with the publicity generated by the thread the letter was published on led to an immediate wave of severe backlash against the proposal and its author. A large amount of players have stated that if this proposal were to pass, they would mobilize a WA nation to defend Haven.

As supporters of Mallorea and Riva continued to defend his proposal against hiking criticism, a movement demanding his resignation for "misrepresenting facts" and "trolling roleplay regions" soon appeared, and rapidly gained traction. However, moderation subsequently locked the report regarding his comportment and declined to remove him, citing [violet], further fueling anger within the roleplaying community.

The proposal is not expected to pass a vote. Others have questioned whether it would even successfully reach quorum.

[Lenny]

Funk appoints Llamas as VC!
3rd July, 2014, Ikania


Above: the office of Vice Chairman Llamas, inside of which he spends much time grooming himself and working on Cultural Affairs. (taken by Ikania)

THE FORBIDDEN CITY- After nearly a month without a Vice Chairman, Chairman Funkadelia appointed someone to the position today. This person is known as Llamas, but also goes by Ezelis, or his other nation, the Republic of Llamas, or sometimes just TROL.

Llamas has had a very large impact on every region he's been in- I should know, having been with him since, well, actually almost a year ago, since it was in early July. He is a reformist, through and through. Wherever he goes, some sort of policy change occurs in his field of work. From Nesapo, where he created the 'Nesapoli Council' as a governing body along with an economic co-operation organization with a really long name similar to the EU, to Khora, where he helped usher in the system of government and many other policies, until it's tragic collapse in early January. And undoubtedly, Llamas carried his ambitious reformism to the PRL when he came in the great exodus from Khora.

Llamas did great things in the Cultural District, such as organizing a roleplay based on the Crimean War, which sadly never took off. He was appointed to the People's Congress, where he put forth his ambitious Cultural Reform act, which gained much support, before being unfortunately vetoed by then-Chairman Kazmr. He resigned in rage at the futility of the Congress, calling it 'rubber stamp', but soon came back. He also helped contribute to Governor Bodobol's Lazarene Historical Project, and helped out greatly in the cartography and map of the PRL.

But now is probably the pinnacle of Llamas' time in Lazarus. He was named a Vanguard of the People, and was then appointed to the position of Cultural Governor after Bodobol's inactivity. He arguably has had the most impact of any Cultural Governor to date, setting up the first RMB invasion of the PRL by the forces of Sauron of the region Mordor. He has also organized another invasion from the Rejected Realms, labeled the third Opium War, and even posted an LG article on the affair. The war is taking place tomorrow by the way, so bring out those guns and light up the invaders like it's the fourth of July.

Overall, Llamas has made a great impact on this region, and though there were some petty squabbles, it is undoubtedly assured that he is more than capable of this position and on behalf of the Information District, I say; good luck, buddy.

[Lenny]

Comrade Chairman Funkadelia Bans Opium!
1 July, 2014 CE (Because screw AD)


Ships of the Evil Colonial Empire of TRR in a Lazarene Port

Breaking news today as Chairman Funkadelia announced the banning of opium. This reportedly followed after it was found that many in the government, including myself, had developed an acute addiction to the substance that was harming their ability to perform their jobs.

"Give me... Just one... JUST GIVE ME ALL THE HAPPY STUFF!" said one Lazarene who was quizzed on the matter.

In a radical speech brought before the People's Congress, which was not understood by a single member due to their being too damn high, Funkadelia blasted Unibot's destructive and evil decision to bring this addictive substance, supposedly as a "gift" meant to be used for happiness and pain relief, to Lazarus.

"This evil substance was brought before us in the cloak of friendship, happiness, and mutual gain. But it is not this! This drug, this tool of the foreign imperialists, has brought massive damage to the Lazarene economy and people! We must confiscate all supplies and destroy them, effective immediately!"

Unibot, meanwhile, condemned this just exercise of the Lazarene government's authority to regulate imports.

"This is a clear breach of free trade if I ever saw one!" raged the delegate before a meeting of the Rejected Realms' politicians. "We will not stand for this!" When one member of the audience asked him why free trade was really that important, Unibot reportedly mumbled something about profits before wandering away.

At this time, TRR is expected to launch an invasion of Lazarus in the evening of Friday, July 4, a special day of celebration for foreign imperialists. They plan to seize major ports and force Lazarus to open itself to trade. Who will win at this point is uncertain.

[Sovereign Dixie]

No opium!?
 

[Lenny]

The Chairman in his wisdom has seen that to provide opium would only allow for the people to be exploited...

[Lenny]

Lazerene people volunteer to aid Socialist comrades in Warzone Asia!
6th July 2014


Workers of Lazarus have volunteered in droves to support the Socialist Government in Warzone Asia and have been welcomed by their comrades with much celebration

WARZONE ASIA - A recent request for support in Warzone Asia was answered by volunteers from the Lazerene People's Republic, as Party Members sponatenously flocked to the region in order to support the just Socialism Government which is working there. Another indication of the compassion of the people of Lazarus and their desire for the rights of workers to be respected throughout the world.

On June 26th, a request was made to aid the benevolent delegate of Warzone Asia, Chairman Campbell North Nation, after a threat had been received from a raiding region about attacking the Warzone. This despite the fact that the Warzone had not taken any aggressive measures and was peacefully seeking to build the region into a beacon of fairness and equality for the workers of all Warzones.

Instantly, in response to this request several Party Members asked for permission to support the Delegate, which was temporarily granted, and this successfully warded off attacks from the raider region. Their arrival was greeted with considerable celebration in Warzone Asia with impromtu speeches of support from Workers' Representatives and the sharing of meals.

The Warzone is currently in the midst of approving a new Constitution which will further improve the governance of the region and ensure that power is directly in the hands of the people. Steps have also been taken to build a new Politburo which will help to provide the leadership which the workers of Warzone Asia requrie at this time.

Speaking directly to the Lazarene Gazette, Chairman Campbell North Nation, said:

"The cooperation and support provided to us by the People's Republic of Lazarus has exceeded all expectations. Naturally, sharing very similar goals and government structures, it is in the best interests of our two Socialist regions to be allies, however the support which has been lent to us by both the government and natives of the PRL far exceeds what would be expected of just a fellow Socialist People's Republics.

Our fledgling native Warzone community owes a great debt of gratitude to those Lazarenes who have chosen to represent their region so well by reaching forward and embracing the communities which have sprung up in the Warzones, an area not typically thought of as being "entitled to a native community or delegate". This includes not only those nations which have volunteered their time and service in Warzone Asia, attempting to make the region more stable against the common tag raid, but also to the government of the People's Republic, which has set the precedent worldwide in accepting Warzone Asia on an equal footing as any other region for diplomatic relations."

There is confidence that continued cultural and diplomatic links between the two regions will grow over the coming months as workers continue to work together for the advancement of mankind.

[Sovereign Dixie]

Good show, guys!

o/

[Lenny]

\o

[Lenny]

Productivity incentives distributed throughout Lazarus!
15th July 2014


Lazarene workers show off their new productivity booklets to Chairman Emeritus, Comrade Milograd, after he visits one of the region's many industrial centres

THE FORBIDDEN CITY - Workers in Lazarus woke up to a new dawn, economically, last week as the Lazarene People's Party implemented sweeping reforms which will improve the lives of billions. Following intense internal discussions within the Party, it was decided to implement "productivity rewards" for workers, to recognise those that showed dedicated to the principles of the People's Revolution.

These rewards will be distributed on a weekly basis through the Department for Prosperity, headed by First Tiger Comrade Hobbes, who has masterminded the change. Workers were visited by a number of leading Party officials on the first day of the awards, with early reports indicating strong levels of support from workers' relations committees.

The Department for Prosperity has released the following schedule outlining the incentives that will be distributed (denominated in the People's currency - Phoenix Fen):

Chairman - ƒ1,500
Administrator - ƒ1,337
Vice Chair - ƒ1,250
Governor - ƒ1,000
Congressman - ƒ1,000
LLA Officer - ƒ1,000
Lazerene Liberation Army - ƒ750
CPS - ƒ750
State Police Chief - ƒ750
(any) Marshall - ƒ750
(Any) Cadre - ƒ700
Peoples' Party - ƒ500
Citizen - ƒ250
Member - ƒ100
Private Dingus - ƒ1

Some observers have noted a similarity with Capitalist exploitation devices termed "wages" which tie workers to predatory businesses, this has been flated denied by Party sources. "Wages are a symptom of decadence and greed" said one official in response to a question on this issue. "This is based on social methods of production, justly distributed by the Party...by the way where are your papers?"

[Sovereign Dixie]

o/ profit sharing!

poor private dingus... lol

[Lenny]

Rejected Realms Army Flees From the Might of the LLA
19 July, 2014 CE (Because screw AD)
 

Members of the RRA stare in fear upon seeing the strength of our beloved comrades in the brave LLA
 
A good month for the LLA, as the Rejected Realms backed down from the threatened invasion over the banning of opium.
 
"You see, we're just way too afraid of the LLA," said the evil imperialistic Unibot. "There is no way we could actually have defeated an army representing the people's will, rather than just our bourgeois imperialistic desires."
 
Approximately half of Lazarus jumped with joy at the news, as the drug has been known to significantly lower productivity. A drop in Lazarene steel production has been linked to workers being too damn high to work. Chairman Funkadelia was so overjoyed when he heard the news, he asked everyone to leave while he celebrated privately. Minutes later, the Chairman was found wandering around the Forbidden City looking more or less like this, sparking rumors that he violated his own orders.
 
Other members of the Lazarene populace were noticeably less than happy with this turn of events. Comrade Bodobol was arrested for possession of opium, and is currently awaiting trial. We attempted to interview him, but found him to have smoked too much opium for him to actually form any coherent thought. Meanwhile, another citizen who we interviewed smoke spoke to us only on condition of anonymity.
 
"Yup... Eh... You shee, I jusht want evewyone ta be able to make thewe own decishuns about whethew this product is safe or not..." the man said, before collapsing into a shivering wreck on the ground, after which a gang of men dressed in cowboy clothes approached and dragged his body away while cheering and hooting.
 
Thus, we leave all patriotic readers of the Lazarene Gazette with this advice: Opium. Not even once. Alright, maybe once. Or twice. Or... GODDAMMIT JUST HAND ME THE PIPE!