Hanna just watched, joyful memories of her childhood in the Imperial gardens surfacing, memories of her parents taking days off to play with her, picknics on sunny days, unexpected rain, laughter and also the day Nikolai and Sasha was born, blind, cute and cuddly-looking. She felt at peace until she accidentally remembered a morning run that took a turn for the worse and she put a hand up to her right shoulder as she remembered the searing pain of the assassin's bullet that grazed her, failing to kill her by not more than an inch. From that, her memories strayed to the peace initiative meeting in the Celtic Queendom where she had recived the word that her parents had been assassinated by resistance and that her life was in danger if she returned. Wich in turn led her to the liberation of Carona and the sight of the charred, twisted remains of hundreds of cherry and apple trees that was the Imperial gardens and the huge heap of cracked and soot-stained marble, steel, concrete and melted glass that once had been the royal palace and the nuclear mushroom clouds rising through the higher clouds like popping corn.
Her knees buckled at the stream of painful memories, causing her to sob quietly. Almost everything she had ever truly loved had been taken from her and now she had noone to really turn to, sure, her guards were loyal and friendly but none of them were the kind of person she could vent to, sure they listened allright but that, she was pretty sure of, had more to do with them having to. She had never felt so lonely and helpless and now with only that servant around, her mask of self-control and security had shattered once the preassure to keep it up had fallen.
As so often when she was a young girl, there was someone who always came to her when she was sad, the great white tigress had climbed up on a large rock placed at the pond and now walked over to her, nudging Hanna with her big head and laying down in front of her, silent tears wetting the fur on Sasha's neck as Hanna hugged her feline friend and buried her face in the warm and smooth fur.