Taijitu

Forum Meta => Archive => General Discussion Archive => Topic started by: kor on July 08, 2007, 01:56:05 PM

Title: Top Ten Spells That Never Made It
Post by: kor on July 08, 2007, 01:56:05 PM
Top Ten Spells That Never Made It

   1. Berman's Death-to-the-Caster.
   2. Power word, fart.
   3. Gelatinous Shell (immediately surrounds the caster in a gelatinous cube).
   4. Safe fall (like feather fall, but makes you weigh as much as a 12 ton bank vault).
   5. Polymorph Udder (a highly specialized spell which only affects female cattle).
   6. Stinking Klaus (summons a fat, smelly German business man, who chases your enemies while eating an Oktoberfest sausage and belching).
   7. Magnetskin (a variation of stoneskin - makes the caster's skin magnetic, giving all metallic weapons a +10 bonus to hit).
   8. Meatier Swarm (large chunks of ground chuck rain to the ground).
   9. Polymorph any Omelet.
  10. Fireballs (sets the target's testicles on fire - very effective, but a bit too kinky for TSR).
Title: Re: Top Ten Spells That Never Made It
Post by: Allama on July 09, 2007, 01:50:55 PM
11. Otiluke's Resilient Oblate Spheroid

12. Power Word: Retch

13. Mutter

14. Summon Muenster

15.  Dirty joke, incoming:
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Top Ten Spells That Never Made It
Post by: The Empire on July 10, 2007, 11:34:39 AM
What's so dirty about #15? *mumbles to self: Poor hot little prude american quaker*

Title: Re: Top Ten Spells That Never Made It
Post by: Allama on July 10, 2007, 01:00:59 PM
It's not very dirty, of course, but I wanted to warn off the youngun's who read the forum so no one could accuse me of corruption of minors.  Believe me, we've come up with really bad ones during our gaming sessions that I'll not repeat here as per the forum user agreement.  ;)

16. Melf's Acid Trip
Title: Re: Top Ten Spells That Never Made It
Post by: Solnath on July 10, 2007, 02:09:39 PM
Number fifteen exists.
Title: Re: Top Ten Spells That Never Made It
Post by: Thyatira on July 10, 2007, 02:23:29 PM
17. Obscene Servant
Title: Re: Top Ten Spells That Never Made It
Post by: Khem on July 10, 2007, 02:46:53 PM
18. Summon Mother

19. Natures Whipping Boy

20. Wall of Bondage
Title: Re: Top Ten Spells That Never Made It
Post by: Allama on July 10, 2007, 03:26:26 PM
Quote from: Soly on July 10, 2007, 02:09:39 PM
Number fifteen exists.

Nothing from that book counts... No, I don't want to read it! *runs away*

21. Know Distortion

22. Zone of Omission

23. Badger's Splendor

24. Greater Simper

25. Create Whiner
Title: Re: Top Ten Spells That Never Made It
Post by: Khem on July 10, 2007, 06:16:50 PM
26. summon drunkard

27. pixie prance

28. Caviar Storm

29. Powerword: Spit

30: Kitten's Streangth
Title: Re: Top Ten Spells That Never Made It
Post by: Nightloser on August 15, 2007, 10:31:28 PM
31. Beerpocalipse ( tons of open cans of beer flowing towards you )
Title: Re: Top Ten Spells That Never Made It
Post by: Trey on August 15, 2007, 10:51:39 PM
Quote from: Allama on July 10, 2007, 03:26:26 PM
Quote from: Soly on July 10, 2007, 02:09:39 PM
Number fifteen exists.

Nothing from that book counts... No, I don't want to read it! *runs away*


What book?
Title: Re: Top Ten Spells That Never Made It
Post by: Allama on August 16, 2007, 12:09:42 PM
There's a D&D supplement that's all about sex - charts, stats, and all.
Title: Re: Top Ten Spells That Never Made It
Post by: Heavylancer on August 16, 2007, 01:41:53 PM
32. Summon minor demon of procrastination (never arrives, always puts it off)