Taijitu
Forum Meta => Archive => General Discussion Archive => Topic started by: kor on July 08, 2007, 01:53:09 PM
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Top Ten Signs Your DM Is Too Hard
1. You've been playing for 3 weeks, and have 76 dead characters.
2. You're playing in Darksun, but still only use Method I to roll characters.
3. Your fighter gets a bit tipsy, and piches the barmaid's bottom. The barmaid pulls out her bow and her arrow of fighter slaying.
4. Your 15th level thief just had the snot kicked out of him by an eight year old girl.
5. There are lethal traps on every latrine door.
6. Most peasants have 20 hit dice, and many know the power word, kill spell.
7. Somehow you've done it. Your party has slain Emberburn, the most fearsome and powerful Red Dragon the DM has ever created. The DM stares at you in shock, still staring down at the "1" he rolled on the dragon's last attack. After poking him in the arm for five minutes, chanting "horde....horde.....horde...." over and over, he looks up at you. The look of surprise fades, and an evil grin replaces it. "As it happens," the DM says with glee, "the dragon had cast project image just before the party entered the cavern...".
8. Your mage has an argument with a local spice merchant. Finally, annoyed to the breaking point, he casts charm on the merchant. Sadly, the merchant is a retired 22nd level elven mage. Shaking your head, you reach for the statistic rolling dice once again...
9. Trees can, and often do, explode in huge, 20d6 hit die fireballs. No explanation is ever offfered.
10. Regular rabbits are gone. They have been replaced by the killer-rabbit from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail".
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11. DM: "You arrive at the town eleven hours later, exhausted from the long trek. Three of you pass out from dehydration."
Players (en masse): "What the hell?"
DM: "You said you filled up your waterskins, but you never said you were drinking out of them as you walked."
12. Your party of four starts at level one and faces a challenge rating 18 monster in your first session. Enjoy.
13. The lawful good paladin casts detect evil. EVERYTHING glows.
14. After three hours of fruitless gameplay in a single clearing-
DM: "A troll jumps out and attacks you."
Players: "Wait, where did he come from? Don't we get spot checks?"
DM: "He was behind the boulder in the middle of the clearing. You should have looked."
Players: "What boulder? We asked you what we saw when we got here and you never mentioned a boulder!"
DM: "You didn't ask what else you saw."
15. DM: "Your bladder explodes. You never said you took a piss, did you?"
(11, 14, and 15 based on actual D&D sessions.)
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16. The DM tells you to put the dice away.
17. All out-of-character comments like jokes are treated as IC comments.
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Your party of 3 10th-level characters are facing Dagon from the Cthulhu mythos without cannon fodder NPCs or magic weapons... [Really happened.]
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19. your first level characters start off in the middle of a mindflayer city....
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20. Underwater ninja tigers.