Taijitu
Forum Meta => Archive => General Discussion Archive => Topic started by: Khem on May 09, 2007, 08:49:23 AM
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Love... what a loaded word, where to begin on love...... :wb:
Love: Avoid at all costs.
anyhow what are your various thoughts on love, i lust for your opinions.
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My thoughts on love...
People will seek love whether consciously or unconsciously - even those who fear commitment or who've been burned before. Because humans crave to bond.
The marriages that last the longest and are still happy to the end usually started with friendship as its base, rather than passion. Passion fades - friendship deepens.
The one you love can hurt you much more deeply than anyone else.
No relationship can be happy or lasting without trust.
Knowing that the one you love knows all your faults, has seen you at your worst, and yet still loves you... is a most wonderful thing.
Every long-lasting relationship goes through at least one period where love dies. But if the relationship was based on more than just passion, and if they hang on, it often returns after awhile.
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Here is a portion of my personal "take" on love:
As human beings we exist to love: people, creation, expression, ourselves... all forms of love are a celebration of life itself and the reason we are. Love gives life purpose, whether it be love of others or of a task or of a faith. I don't think we would have been imbued with souls for a baser or less grand reason; God would be lonely all by Himself in the universe, I think. What's the point in creating and existing if you have nothing with which to share love?
I'm sure you meant romantic love, however, so I shall not digress any more. :) Love is an integral part of the human experience; I don't believe you can find true happiness without having felt love. Even if you lose it, it was worth having because it enriched and expanded the realm of your heart and soul. There is nothing more beautiful and moving than seeing love in the eyes of the one you care for, who understands and appreciates you for who you are, flaws and all.
Some of the attributes I find necessary in a lasting relationship are trust, forgiveness, understanding, patience, and humor. You have to have a strong emotional base upon which to build romance. As Khablan said, you have to be friends first and foremost because passion and romance probably won't last forever.
Another thought: the one you love can and will cause you pain. If you've been with someone for a long time and have yet to be upset or argue I would venture to guess something is being hidden or suppressed. We want relationships to be perfect and expect that when we find "true" love nothing bad will happen between us (especially when we're young and inexperienced) but this is a fantasy. No relationship, romantic or not, is ever free of mishap. Of course, this does not mean it isn't still wonderful. If you truly care for someone you simply have to be able to forgive and move on.
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Love is actually a misspelled reverse of the word "live," that originally meant evil.
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Love... what a loaded word, where to begin on love...... :wb:
Love: Avoid at all costs.
anyhow what are your various thoughts on love, i lust for your opinions.
Some guy who you liked just dumped you. That's why you say "Love: avoid at all costs". Your angry and you need to take it out somewhere. I would suggest a dumpster. They are vary handy for such situations.
Anyway, I love love. Its a sweet nice feel. There are 4 kinds of love.
1. The love of an object. This is when you have become attached to a sentimental object.
2. The love of an action or other object (such as food, clothing [non-sentimental], a band, etc.).
3. The love of family.
4. The love a significant other(s). This is usually completely outside of the other 3 categories, unless you for instance have sexual relations with your sister, that would fall under 3 and 4, and you would also be classified as a sicko.
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Technically speaking, 4 falls under 3, as well as 1. (Your wife is a part of your family, which by definition consists of people you love the most, and she's also a human, hence an animal, hence an object. I shall now prepare to be verbally and physically assaulted by feminists.)
Here's my condensed version of Alger's lovelist:
1) Concrete things
2) Less concrete things
My own list would be as follows, a bit differently formed:
1) The love of life, i.e. of the three best things in life, which are:
a) to crush your enemies,
b) to see them driven before you and
c) to hear the lamentation of their women
2) Hmm, actually, 1) covers everything really worth the title of "love."
3) See 2).
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Thank you for the correct form of clarification Solnath.
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Happy to be of service. Unfortunately, this pro bono activity is bad for business.
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In my opinion, 'love' is nothing more than a compatibilty of chemistry(Literally. Like, scientific and shit.)
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Please note, class, the delicate ellipsis that Ryaz used here. He makes no reference to the compatibility of physics. What can we deduce from this?
Also, Ryaz, following your line of thought, everything is caused by chemicals and electric impulses. Which, as a matter of fact, doesn't sound all that bad, does it?
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I suppose it's safe to assume everything happens because of chemical and electrical reactions.
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Amor é fogo que arde sem se ver
Amor é fogo que arde sem se ver;
É ferida que dói e não se sente;
É um contentamento descontente;
É dor que desatina sem doer;
É um não querer mais que bem querer;
É solitário andar por entre a gente;
É nunca contentar-se de contente;
É cuidar que se ganha em se perder;
É querer estar preso por vontade;
É servir a quem vence, o vencedor;
É ter com quem nos mata lealdade.
Mas como causar pode seu favor
Nos corações humanos amizade,
Se tão contrário a si é o mesmo Amor?
Luís de Camões
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Love keeps getting me in trouble with myself :S
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Nothing real can be threatened...Nothing unreal exists....
Just a thought....
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Oh, I don't know about that. Last night, I threatened to make my son clean his room if he wasn't going to get onto his homework. If he isn't real, then who's making all that mess in his bedroom? :P
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Very good.....lol......
Though I would express it thus.....Your love for your son is real and cannot be threatened.....Even by the messiness of his room or his disinclination for Homework....or your use of threats....
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Actually, it's Nixon who's making the mess.
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Though I would express it thus.....Your love for your son is real and cannot be threatened.....Even by the messiness of his room or his disinclination for Homework....or your use of threats....
Ah, you're right. Even on the rare occasion when I'm tempted to pull a Homer Simpson and throttle the dear thing, I still love him just as much. Which is very lucky for him since that's what's kept him from bodily harm all along. lol
Actually, it's Nixon who's making the mess.
Wait... you mean... Nixon isn't dead??? It's another conspiracy wrought by The Man to fool us, like Jim Morrison and Elvis Presley and Hitler being dead?? I shoulda known.
Incidentally, this is the same boy who at the age of four, came to me with a Mother's Day present. As I began to open it, he said, "I wanted to buy you a real diamond, because you're a good mommy and you should have one. But the lady at the store said that $1.23 wasn't enough. This isn't as good." Inside the little jewelry box was a "diamond" made of folded crayon-colored paper strung on a piece of yarn. If I had all the diamonds in the world, that little paper diamond would be the most precious to me by far. I wore it proudly to work that day and told the story, and all my co-workers agreed that I'd received the best Mother's Day gift of all of them.
Now THAT is what love is.
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Amen.
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Khablan, that is the most adorable thing I have ever heard. I just read your story to one of my coworkers and she made that "AWW" sound for about 4 seconds straight.
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ideed thats fantastic.
nah i am actualy in the process of finding romantic love again, hence my interest in everyones thoughts. glad the response was this good./me gains back faith in humanity even ryaz.
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OMG! She has regained faith in Ryaz :O Who is this nice woman and what has she done to our PUR? ;)
Seriously, I'm happy to hear life is shining kinder on you again :)
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thank you my friend. its been just raining kittens here so i am good. just wondering what do do with all these dead kittens...
i have a love for some of the people here as well. i hope you know who you are.
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Make a roadkill stew and serve to Ryaz or Garth with a fancy name on it?
I wish life was kinder on me too but it just keeps kicking me in the nuts and stabbing my heart with a dull fork. Or that's how it feels sometimes...
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My religious beliefs (Christian, in case you didn't know,) totally influence my view of love. After all, the Bible has an entire chapter on love.
What I know is that love is not what the media says. The media says love is a feeling, maybe followed by a commitment. While I agree that feelings are usually part of the process, they are not first. True love is when friendship is first, and the rest comes naturally. It essentially is a strong commitment, more of a lifestyle or action than a feeling. The feeling comes afterward. To me, the media has it backwards. People in movies and TV always say, "I do this because I love you." To me it's more like "I love you because I'm doing this."
To me, the love that is described in the Bible (see 1 Corinthians 13) is pure, holy, and worthy of respect and veneration. The "love" that is described by the media, however, is worthy of cynical mockery.
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Khab- Truly a sweet child. I am tempted to defile my manliness and let out an 'aww'.
PUR- Glad to see your life has been going well. Hope you find that special someone. :) ;)
Emp- Sorry to hear life feels like that. You should look on the bright side of life, find the happiness in little things.
Marsos- Amen, my brother.
Me, I'm not sure how to truly explain it. I'm not sure if anyone can. Anyway, I'm feeling this particular emotion at this very moment.
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Well, that's pretty hard when you can't see or even communicate with one you love because of her overprotective, paranoid and rabid mother.
And realizing you are starting to get feelings for someone else at the same time doesn't make things less complicated, especially not when the old feelings remain undiminished.
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well every person has the ability to love more than just one person, hence why i like polyamorous relationships. however you should sort things out with one before trying to pursue an additional.
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That is the one thing I am sure of, anything else is bound to break at least two hearts, one of wich would be my own.
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just wondering what do do with all these dead kittens...
Catserole.
(Don't beat me, I have cats and I've never eaten a one, I swear!)
Khab- Truly a sweet child. I am tempted to defile my manliness and let out an 'aww'.
I am a very lucky mom. Go ahead, Talmann. If anyone catches you, put your hand over your mouth and pretend it's a yawn. :P
I wish life was kinder on me too but it just keeps kicking me in the nuts and stabbing my heart with a dull fork. Or that's how it feels sometimes...
Empire, remember - this too shall pass. When we hit a rough patch, it's hard to concentrate on anything else. The problems keep nagging at us, giving us a sort of tunnel vision. The little things that give us joy are still there - we're just too wrapped up in our troubles to take much notice of them. If you can, try to get away from things, do something to keep your mind off your troubles. Take a walk and just absorb the beauty of nature, or read a book that you enjoy. Life is ever-changing. The bad times will fade away after awhile. Let your heart make your decision when it's ready.
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god you give good advise.
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Who, me, Pur? Why, thank you - that's the first time anyone's ever said that to me.
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its true.
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ideed thats fantastic.
nah i am actualy in the process of finding romantic love again, hence my interest in everyones thoughts. glad the response was this good./me gains back faith in humanity even ryaz.
Hooray, good news! I am very happy to hear this. ;D
...but does this mean our engagement is off? :'(
P.S. I second Khablan, Emp. We spoke of this via PM yesterday, but I wanted to express my empathy anyway. I sincerely hope things work out for you, hun.
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I reckon I'm the only one present whose immune system fights and defeats love on a regular basis.
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You know, Soly, there's cure for that. Hey, why don't you come over to my house on Friday night - I'll throw a party, and we'll talk...
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O.o'''
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I reckon I'm the only one present whose immune system fights and defeats love on a regular basis.
I don't need to defeat it. I deflect it.
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Khab, your story almost made me cry. I wish that I had done something like that. You kid made me realize how shitty I treat my mother.
I reckon I'm the only one present whose immune system fights and defeats love on a regular basis.
I love you. But I guess that doesn't matter. :'(
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I'll tell you the truth as I see it. What happened before doesn't matter nearly as much as what happens now. If you feel badly about the way you've made your mother feel in the past, you can't change what's already happened. But you CAN change what you do now. Start out small - pick one or two things you'd like to do differently from now on, and concentrate on that. Maybe resolve to simply say something nice to her once or twice a week. Or vow that you won't use a particular cutting remark anymore that you know really hurts her. That way you can develop new habits, a little bit at a time, rather than try to make a massive change all at once. I'm sure your mom isn't perfect either. None of us are. But one thing's for sure - moms tend to have an endless supply of forgiveness.
By the way, if anyone thought my last post to Soly sounded crypic - it was a joke that I knew he would recognize. :P
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Thanks for the confidence. And Alger, it's not about people's affections towards me, it's about my own towards others. Four months is the longest relationship I've been able to maintain and the last month of it was mostly torment for me.
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Khab: What I meant was that I never did anything sweet like that for my mom. Compared to your kid, I treat my mom badly. I once tried to pool my money with my brother and buy her some real diamonds (about 2 years ago), but my dad said that we should, that it was his job to get the jewelry. I wish I hadn't listened to him.
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Thanks for the confidence. And Alger, it's not about people's affections towards me, it's about my own towards others. Four months is the longest relationship I've been able to maintain and the last month of it was mostly torment for me.
Pfff? Four months? Try 4 weeks.
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Four months is the record, typically it's ca. a month or less.
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That is my record. I can't stand to be with one person for any prolonged amount of time.
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Love is actually a misspelled reverse of the word "live," that originally meant evil.
Soly > You.
Fact.
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Except 2nd rule:
When equation is encountered with Oz
Oz>all
which means
Oz>soly>you
thus ends the Law of Love Affections
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Ah yes but the exception is also with pandas, as pandas are not included in "all" of "Oz>all". In fact the real Law of Love Affections are pandas>Oz>all
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Khab: What I meant was that I never did anything sweet like that for my mom. Compared to your kid, I treat my mom badly. I once tried to pool my money with my brother and buy her some real diamonds (about 2 years ago), but my dad said that we should, that it was his job to get the jewelry. I wish I hadn't listened to him.
Ah, I completely misunderstood. I should have known. You just don't seem the sort of person to be particularly nasty to his mom.
Really, as far as I'm concerned, storebought gifts are overrated. It's the touching moments that really count in relationships, and that doesn't require an output of cash. Those are the memories that stay with a person long after a gift is used up. Whether they spent a million dollars or five cents to say that doesn't matter. The sentiment is the same.
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Thanks for the confidence. And Alger, it's not about people's affections towards me, it's about my own towards others. Four months is the longest relationship I've been able to maintain and the last month of it was mostly torment for me.
Though I'm sure you've heard this before, I think you ought to give the situation time as well as effort to work out. Sometimes these sorts of things are a result of a deeper psychological conflict and require a lot of introspection and soul-searching. Other times they're more of a "phase" that you could shed as you mature further and change lifestyles. I don't want to pry into your psyche, especially in such a public forum, so the following queries are more or less rhetorical. Have you thought about what leads you to this rejection of love? I strongly suspect you have, given what I've gleaned of your personality and intelligence, but have you been successful in determining any possible causes or event chains?
Another thing to consider is what effect each "failed" (I hate to use that word, but I can't think of another fitting one at the moment.) relationship has had on your continued ability to love. Maybe you should take a break from them for a while to sort yourself out, if you aren't doing so already.
Also, if it's any consolation, my record was zero at 18 years old. I didn't go on my first date or have my first kiss until after I had graduated from high school.
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I get bored with people, individual humans I've met so far just lack the capacity to entertain me on a long term basis.
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Ah, well there's only so much you can do about that. I guess you should find ladies somewhere intelligent and fun, like... disco-bar libraries?
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I get bored with people, individual humans I've met so far just lack the capacity to entertain me on a long term basis.
Soly....to be serious momentarily.....when you get past the needing to be entertained bit...you'll find that you can appreciate other qualities in your partner and your relationships will tend to last longer....
I didn't have anything really long term until I got to my twenties....
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disco-bar libraries? What a concept! (http://www.kolobok.wrg.ru/smiles/standart/swoon.gif)
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Sorry, that smiley makes me laugh... :D
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I've been waiting for two years to find the right occasion to use that baby. Gotta love good smileys. :P
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disco-bar libraries? What a concept! (http://www.kolobok.wrg.ru/smiles/standart/swoon.gif)
I am seriously going to start one of those right up, just you wait... all the sexy nerds in town will know where to go to have a funky good time! All will find true love at my bar, guaranteed or your next drink is half price!
Now, the next matter at hand is this: who wants to loan me the money to get this project going?
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Just think of how it could boost the economy. The manufacturers of heavy gold chains and silky shirts for men will love you for it. Not to mention disco balls and strobe lights! Hmm... finances... well, there's always bake sales. Hey, I wonder whether this could even bring back male perms...
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Oh God, I hope so! My Chris would look terrible with permed hair but the laughs would be worth it.
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I get bored with people, individual humans I've met so far just lack the capacity to entertain me on a long term basis.
Soly....to be serious momentarily.....when you get past the needing to be entertained bit...you'll find that you can appreciate other qualities in your partner and your relationships will tend to last longer....
I didn't have anything really long term until I got to my twenties....
"Being entertained" = "being interested," so if there's nothing in another person that doesn't entertain me, I don't care about them.
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Love, in my opinion, is just a simple fact. Two people who are in love, are ready do sacrifice everything for each other's happiness. Well, it's simple in theory at least. The basic parts of a successful realtionship founded on love are communication and trust. Only by being completly honest with one another you can make love happen.
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What's the difference between "normal" love and platonic love? And is romantic love normal love? And what's Love?
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Ok now, isn't platonic love based on sharing wisdom and basically gayness?
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Yes, but aren't you based on unnoticed rape?
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I don't know what love is ^_^ to be truthful...
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love is painful if its romantic love. platonic love is a wonderful thing however it is full of comradery and respect. willingness to deal with your best friends drunken ramblings is a good sign of platonic love.
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Gayness? If I have a platonic relationship with a male friend, how is that gayness? Silly you.
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A reference to Plato who had platonic love with his male students. In the ass.
Platonic love with a touch of romantic attraction is the best combination I've encountered.
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Love: more complicated than a woman yet simpler than a mans needs.
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Young love: lust touched by wisdom.
Why do I say this, you ask? Sounds a little cynical, coming from me? Nay, I say! Young love is when you lust for not only a mate's body, but his soul, his mind, his company... You feel a deep, heart's desire for all aspects of a person that shakes you to the core. This does, of course, evolve with time into a more mature love; a deeper, abiding, less earth-shattering thing that gives you a sense of peace and wholeness even when the other is absent.
I'll not muse on love as it ages over many years, as my understanding of such is all second-hand at this point. Perhaps I'll revisit this topic in about 20 or 30 years, neh?
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Love is acceptance of the inevitable. Also, it's a death and a rebirth.
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Very true, Soly. When you give in to love a part of you is lost forever, though not necessarily in a negative way. I'm not sure how to express that which you lose; that which dies. The old you passes on while a newer, in-love you is born.
Damn, there was a lot I thought of to say on that when I read your post, but it died itself during the page-load.
It does feel inevitable when you fall in love, though, doesn't it? That's precisely the word for it. When the man or woman or troglodyte that your heart desires hold you and you allow yourself to feel the depth of your emotions for that person, it feels as though it was always meant to be that way, every time. Even if your heart moves on to another person, another love, it never stops feeling like that.
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What I can't comprehend, though, is how people can have the arrogance, naivety and stupidity to believe they can only love a finite amount of things. Well, maybe they can't love everything. Joke's on them.
And as for what Al' described, it's like unlocking a new, amazing level in a magnificent game.
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Al', I can assure you that the feeling you described doesn't necessarily change over time. True, some people fall out of love, but in the relationships that thrive, the feeling lives on to the end.
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hmmm a new question to go emo for a second. why does all romantic love fail for me? basicly why do i always wind up broken hearted?
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Because you're too good for it. Trust me, that makes sense. Romantic love isn't the Best Thing Ever.
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hmmm a new question to go emo for a second. why does all romantic love fail for me? basicly why do i always wind up broken hearted?
Because you keep doing the TUCK AND TAPE... release your manhood!!
On a serious note, maybe it's just the girls man. I wouldn't give them shit on you, you'll get a good one when you get a good one, trust me!!!!! ! Just live life, it's not worth muling over some woman who didn't/doesn't take the time to appreciate you. And yes, I know I say this although I have a safety net girl myself, (Aiko :)) but if she left me man, I'd want you to give me the same advice, because it's true. You only live once, make the best of it, don't look to the past except to learn and know what to do in the future!
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If someone else has to tell you that, Xy, you don't really believe it.
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hmmm a new question to go emo for a second. why does all romantic love fail for me? basicly why do i always wind up broken hearted?
Though I'm sure this is exactly what you don't want to hear, remember how early it is. You're a young man; not everyone finds a good mate at this point in their lives. Most haven't, in fact. Those who have not experienced heartbreak once they've gotten into the "dating" world are very rare and very lucky.
Neil, you love so deeply that it hurts you more than it would others to lose a lover. This does not, of course, mean you should let yourself become jaded or aloof; it's a very beautiful thing to love truly and with your whole being, even when it hurts like hell and feels like it was senseless. Some day you will find a woman who will not break your heart. It might not be soon, but it will happen. You deserve it.
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Also, if it's any consolation, my record was zero at 18 years old. I didn't go on my first date or have my first kiss until after I had graduated from high school.
Old post, but quoted since it restored my confidence in myself.
hmmm a new question to go emo for a second. why does all romantic love fail for me? basicly why do i always wind up broken hearted?
Echo^^. Keep trying, as hard as you can. That's the only real way to find love. This does not mean to just go about indiscriminately throwing yourself at people, but if you find someone, don't let memory of past "failures" (quotes indicate that a better word is needed, but does not exist) haunt you.
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thanls everyone. i know better than to hold my past against anyone so no worries on that one GC. ahhh well far less emo now and looking to enjoy being single again. and Xy if you ever need to hear it i'll definately tell you. and Soly you may have a point but it dousn't take away from that sort of love being one of the few things i truly desire. and don't worry alana i may be aloof in other area's of my life but i could never do that with love. just too bad that woman isn't you though ::)
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My record was zero when I was 15. I think. Now it's going to stay at two/five/seven for a while.
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wait people actualy keep track of how many people they've kissed? i mean those who you fuck i can see keping track of but kissed? gods that number is kind of intimidating. at least 500.
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Wait, what, kissed? Then it's more, something I haven't counted. My listing criteria is "mutual romantic interests."
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a good list to go with soly.
romantic interests: over 50.
mutual romantic interests: something like 20.
romantic partnerships: more like 6.
sexual partners: 10 or so.
BDSM partners: 5.
fooled around with: 60ish.
kissed: over 500.
flirted with: well now we would need to calculate how many attractive people i have met since the age of 14.
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My mutual romantic interests have always developed into something, so my numbers are about 120, 7, 7, 5, 2, 12, 30+, a lot.
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according to your list PUR, mine would be something like:
romantic interests: over 30
mutual romantic interests: 3 One of those didn't lead anywhere since I was spoken for.
romantic partnerships: 2
sexual partners: 2
BDSM partners: 1
fooled around with: 1, Or 3 if one includes the two I have been seriously involved with.
kissed: 3
flirted with: 50ish?
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Yes, PUR, I keep track of the number of men I've kissed. ^_^ It's not many, so it isn't difficult. Personally, I can't/won't engage in physical displays of affection without what I feel to be the appropriate attendant emotional connection. To me, a kiss means I want to be with that person romantically. I don't kiss (or do anything else) on a whim or as a fling. Perhaps I'm old-fashioned, but it's the way that feels right for me.
My numbers are a little different, but I suppose I'll post them anyway. It isn't as though I'm ashamed of anything I've done. :)
romantic interests: I'd venture a guess at around 20-25.
mutual romantic interests: 9 or 10
romantic partnerships: 6 -----if you count the guy I dated twice as 2
sexual partners: 1
BDSM partners: 0
fooled around with: 2 -----including my only sexual partner, of course
kissed: 5
flirted with: Many!