Taijitu
Forum Meta => Archive => General Discussion Archive => Topic started by: Khablan on July 07, 2007, 05:58:46 PM
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...they'd send all the fighters to their rooms until after they'd had some quiet time to themselves.
Alright, what else can you add to the list?
And remember, we're all just having fun with the stereotype, so don't take it seriously!
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"Could you move that border 3 miles north?"
(lots of grunting and huffing)
"No, no, no. Move it back."
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Thy... has my husband been telling you things? LMAO!!!
...there would be no more of this drab uniform stuff. We'd choose colors that complement the complexion.
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...General Khablan and her Cookie Commandos would be the most feared army in the world.
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.. genocide against dancing avs would happen. (YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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....er...ok, so how long is this skirmish planned to last? We can't go around having no program, you know? *a clothing shop is opened nearby and suddenly any notion of time or schedule magically disappears*
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Peace negotiations would go one of two ways:
Scenario 1...
Mediator: Now, let's all sit and have a cup of tea and a nice little chat. What's the problem? Don't look at me, though. Look at each other. And remember. Mirror what the other has said to you.
Country 1: I feel that you don't appreciate me. You take me for granted.
Country 2: I understand that you don't feel appreciated. But I get frustrated because you rarely let me cross your borders anymore. I have needs, you know.
Country 1: I know you have needs but I have needs too. You can't just cross my borders any time you want without asking first. Sometimes I'm not in the MOOD for you to cross my borders.
Mediator: Excellent, excellent. Now we're getting somewhere. Now let's try some role switching...
Scenario 2...
Mediator: Now, let's all sit and have a cup of tea and a nice little chat. What's the problem?
Country 1 (looking petulant): Nothing. Nothing at all.
Country 2 (looking bemused): I don't get it. I don't know why she's so mad.
Country 1 (crossing her arms and turning away): Well if YOU don't know, I'M certainly not going to tell you.
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ROFL @ Scenario 2! :clap:
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Well, first, that is a very nice Holy Grail, Korinna.
Second, "Cry havoc, and let slip the CATS of war!"
Female stormtroopers would be Catsoldiers, no?
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Thank you, I am glad you like it. ;D
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Give me covering fire at.....
*points to a genral area and troops fire*
"NO! I MEANT OVER THER!!!!!!!!!"
*Points and the soldiers fire*
"Nope, i meant over there"
"Were not going to fire"
"FIRE OR NO FRIENDS TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Ok mom, jeez."
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..once a month the fighting would get insanely fierce
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Unless potato chips and chocolate are quickly provided.
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Unless potato chips and chocolate are quickly provided.
What do you think the war is over? ;)
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^ Good one
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I like the new addition to your sig, Bara :clap:
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thanks ;D
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the soldiers would never find the battlefield
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sure they would because we would force them to ask for directions.
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sure they would because we would force them to ask for directions.
argh true...lol
if women ran wars, only ugly guys would die
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and gay guys would design the rifles....
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and gay guys would design the rifles....
All the toilet seats in the barracks' bathrooms would be bolted to the rims of the toilets to prevent the men from leaving the seat up.
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Tho probably somewhat more Gryphonnic that truly warlike, Battle-Brethren would be less common than -Sistren.
Yes, t'is real word.
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The worst of the fighting will happen during their menstruation period.
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The worst of the fighting will happen during their menstruation period.
The war of the month, eh?
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yes, lol.
Soldier: "Ahh damn, the 24th is coming up...better get that will started..."
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The armies would show up twenty minutes late to every battle, because they had to do their hair and make-up.
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This is freaking hysterical! You guys are goooooooood.
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the soldiers would never complain about the food again. however their highheeled boots are killing them.
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Tank crews will now complain about the potted flowers shoved into the confines of their tanks to "give them more color".
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The armies would show up twenty minutes late to every battle, because they had to do their hair and make-up.
my mom is never late. i remebr that we arrived 3 HOURS EARLY to this thing at my church. Dang, i waited a long time. and yes, it was at X-Mas
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Bara, there are a few exceptions to that rule. I was saying that based on stereotypical views of women in general and my personal experience. I can't even begin to count how many times I've been late to a movie because of this. It usually goes like this:
Me: (standing by the bathroom door) You almost ready, we're gonna be late.
Her: It'll be a little while still, I have to do my make-up.
Me: WHAT! You've been in there for 15 minutes! What the hell have you been doing in there!
Her: I had to do my hair first.
Me: It took you 15 minutes to do your hair!!!
Her: You sound mad. Why are you so mad.
Me: I'm not mad, I just can't believe it's taking this long!
Her: Your mad aren't you.
Me: Oh God let's not start this.
(Momentary silence)
Her: Honey?
Me: What?
Her: I've finished my make-up.
Me: Finally!
Her: Could you help me pick out what to wear.
Me: (slaps forehead)
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ha ha.
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A beautiful collection of Spring-Summer-Campaign War-Purses would be launched by Versace.
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Half of the armed forces would be devoted to counseling services, decorating, and cookware.
Chipping a nail would be a sufficiently serious injury to leave the field of battle.
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This may be a bit off-topic, but my mom says the world would be changed for the best if women ran the middle-east. Aka: Mid-east men tell their kids to throw rocks, and it perpetuates. Women would see their kids throwing rocks and pull them in by the ear and tell them to never do it again.
Ok, back to the normal chaotic discussion.
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"Okay so you're giving me directions for driving this tank then"
"Yep... .... ..... ..... Oh, you could have turned left back there"
*sigh*
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"Spotted the target a 3 o' clock
" I HAVE TO WAIT THAT LONG!!!!!!!"
"Jesus.."
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This is freaking hysterical! You guys are goooooooood.
I knew this would be a good topic, Khab!
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"Now, for the talent portion of this battle..."
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20,000 well armed troops... no problem
An arsenal of deadly biological weapons in a secure compound... no problem
A spider.. EEEEEK... RUN AWAY!
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Soldiers doing drills would pirouette when turning.
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Boot Camp becomes Shoe Closet Camp
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the soldiers would never complain about the food again. however their highheeled boots are killing them.
High heeled boots, eh? Then would this be the uniform of the day?
(http://www.blacklibrary.com/articles/illustrated-man/images/john-blanche-sister.jpg)
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no, it will more be like..
(http://cache.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/metal_gear_solid.jpg)
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Hair clips and foundation become standard-issue equipment.
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soldiers will be constantly bombard by emotional issues from their commanding female officers.
Female Commander: Private.....we need to talk.
Private: ...is this about our officer-to-subordinate relationship?
Female Commander: Yes...
Private (inside his head): F**K!
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once a month the MREs would be replaced with chocolate bars for 3-5 days.
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Quiche would be added to the menus at the mess halls. And so would cheesecake.
Alternative uniforms would be provided for those inevitable "bloat days".
Jeeps would be equipped with vanity mirrors so the personnel could apply lipstick on the fly.
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Quiche would be added to the menus at the mess halls. And so would cheesecake.
Alternative uniforms would be provided for those inevitable "bloat days".
Jeeps would be equipped with vanity mirrors so the personnel could apply lipstick on the fly.
Quiche and cheesecake? I'm looking forward to the new kind of army.
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on cold days the mess halls would serve tomato soup and grilled cheese!
(grilled cheese my favorite food by the way!)
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An armistice would be followed up with the "It's not you. It's me" bit.
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Peace summits would always end with hugs, apologies, and crying.
"Sniffle... I didn't mean it! I was just upset..."
"It's okay, I shouldn't have over-reacted... waaaaah, I love you so much!"
*HUG*
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Instead of rifles we would have water guns
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I would still modify my water gun to a flamethrower... but use it to light bonfires for the night-party cease-fire
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Wars would be short
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All the commanders would be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen... WHERE THEY BELONG.
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/me can't help himself and chuckles.
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LOL.
The men, left at home, would bake cookies and cheat on the soldiers with charming female war-reporters.
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the soldiers, instead of KP, would be given chefs helper for a week!
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Wars would be short
Yes, because women can't hold a grudge.... enjoy the learning curve kid O:-)
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Instead of killing each other, we would sit down and talk about it.
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the mediators would be Oprah and Dr. Phil.