Taijitu
Forum Meta => Archive => General Discussion Archive => Topic started by: LLANYDERN on June 27, 2007, 02:45:34 PM
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1. don't play the harmonica or mutter wistfully about home (most definitely don't show people the picture of your girl/new born child)
2. If shot but it bounces off your helmet do not then take your helmet of to check, you will be shot in the head again.
3. If someone comes up with a crazy/stupid idea it will work, especially if someone says "its a one in a million chance but it might just work"
4. don't worry about your gun jamming/running out of ammo, this only happens when you opponent also has the same problem
5. All american units will have the following: 1. a hispanic, 2. an irish american, 3. a native american, 4. a mid west farm boy, 5. an itallian american, 6. someone from the bronx (it seems this area of new york supplies the american military with at least 10-20% of their personnel), 7. a southern backwoodsman, 8. an asian, 9. a afro american (note that 3. 8. and 9. it depends on who/when the film was made)
6. All British units will have the following 1. a criminal neredowell who's life changes due to his life in the army, 2. a cockeny generally called ginge, 3. someone who will get a letter telling of woe back home who will escape only to be caught usually at the train station, 4. someone who used to work in the factory where they make the weapons used by the unit, 5. a welshman (called taff), 6. a scottish soldier, 7. possibly an Irish soldier, 8. a harsh Sergeant who in reality likes his men, 9. a plumy officer who thinks his men are jolly good chaps.
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7. Never start any sentence with "when I get home...."
8. Do not be on point, or last man, or the radio operator, or the guy with the flamethrower.
9. If you see a group of muddy soldiers coming towards you, do not stand up and wave. Underneath the mud they are wearing German blue.
10. DO NOT attack that panzer with a bazooka. It will kill you. Run at it with a hand granade, or better yet, a can opener. The crappier the weapon, the better your chance of survival.
11. Fix bayonets? What? Are you mad?
12. Don't light a cigarette at any time, especially at night. Snipers, duh.
13. Do not confess to owning a dog back home. You will die just so the director can show the dog pining for you at the train station.
14. If the Japanese commandant asks "who did it" DO NOT PUT UP YOUR HAND.
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9. If you see a group of muddy soldiers coming towards you, do not stand up and wave. Underneath the mud they are wearing German blue.
Reminds me of "The Good, Bad and the Ugly."
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15. Don't be a nazi
16. If you are a nazi, be the bumbling idiot nazi
17. If you're a sniper remember what your grandfather taught you as a young boy in the Urals
18. You never hear the one that gets ya... how'd they figure that out anyways?
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the nazi theory isn't correct, alot of nazis survive WWII movies, although most of those who survive die at the end *points at "Das Boot" <-great submarine movie* let's say more than 99,9% of the nazis in WWII movies survive.
19. Never get out of your foxhole to pee during a blitzkrieg/artillery strike.
20. If a projectile crashes in front of you but it doesn't explode, don't worry, it won't.
21. Never disrespect an order.
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22. Screw historical accuracy, get a Gundam or some other kind of giant armored robot
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22. Screw historical accuracy, get a Gundam or some other kind of giant armored robot
:clap:
23. If you are the rough grizzled vet that held his friend while he was dying and your tasked with procting a Windtalker, your going to die.
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24. ALWAYS wear a high yellow hat, it will get shot plenty of times, but you won't, plus it's handy for storing things in.
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Terribly practical of you, Emp. I commend you.
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25 Don't use bayonets in close combat, they are bound to get stuck in someone. sharpened entrenching tools are much more effective and can double as wood-axe and subsequently frying pan in a pinch.
26 Eat any food lying around, after having checked for poison and provided it isn't looking completely unedible, as soon as possible.
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27. If there's a sniper around, NEVER! try to look where he is, stay down out of any sight! Unless you're a good guy sniper, those seem immune to enemy snipers and most likely will shoot down this hiding bastard.
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28. f you are defending cartean, just keep shooting forward. They will never break the line. Oh, and at night, while the germans are sinig dont ask, "WTF?!?!". Just sneak up and kill them.s
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24. ALWAYS wear a high yellow hat, it will get shot plenty of times, but you won't, plus it's handy for storing things in.
But then won't your stuff get all shot up?
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Taco does have a point
*washes mouth out with soap after saying that*s
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Depends on what you store there, if it's a kitten or a puppy it will never even get a scratch, if it's a canteen or a bottle of shnapps... you better have a towel handy
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29. Always have a dog following around. The germans never kill somebody with a dog.
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^ the Japs will (Pearl Harbour)
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dang...
1950 posts!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Depends on what you store there, if it's a kitten or a puppy it will never even get a scratch, if it's a canteen or a bottle of shnapps... you better have a towel handy
Thanks to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy I always know where my towel is!
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All hail the Mighty Towel. (http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/love/love0030.gif)
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30. Never be the first to takeoff from a fighter, the first pilot always get blown up just as he lifts up.
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31. ^ Being the last will also have high probability of being hit.
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32. If you are flying a plane in stock footage kiss your rump so long
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33. If your in a pafic island, and you think the village is safe, its not. Its about to be ambushed by the Japanese. and dont be the flame thrower guy.
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34. In intense dogfighting, never be a wing-man.
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35. Dont join the armed forces
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36. Don't be a civilian in a war zone either.. In fact, just stay away from wars altogether.
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37. Kill.....Tacolicious...At....Any...Cost....
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38. Stay away from Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
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39. Be the only one in your squadron who speaks fluent German. You're pretty much necessary for those scenes where you have to negotiate a surrender, or when the director wants to show us that we're all pretty much the same by having you bond with an enemy prisoner to the annoyance of the other soldiers.
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40. If you're a non-commissioned officer, don't be Chinese, Japanese, Korean, or Vietnamese. You will be fragged by a racist subordinate.
W00t! 40th.
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41. Always volunteer for patrol. you never get killed
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42. If your HQ says your area is secure, be prepare for a Japanese surprise attack.
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43. If you fall in love with a civilian in Emmey held turf, you'll probably die so the dicertor can so a scene where the person you love is crying over your grave, 60 years later.