The Taijitu Tavern

[The Empire]

*passes out from the impact of the coin, causing a huge clatter and crash of falling bar stools, a tipping table, a lot of nuts and bolts (2mm to 10mm sizes btw) and some awfully expencive looking crystal glases...*

[Tacolicious]

Alright, Empire is cut off until he sobers up. I've never heard of anyone passing out from so few drinks though, ah well. *Taco throws a quarter and it bounces off the edge of a pitcher of rum and bounces, landing in Taco's mouth* Hmmm... this is going to be more challenging then I'd thought possible...

[Khablan]

Practice makes perfect, Taco dear.  (After cringing just a tiny bit at the sound of all the shattering crystal.)

Hmm, let's prop Empire up in the corner.  Wave a cookie under his nose and see whether that brings him to or not.

[Cherokee]

Hi--how's it going?

[Tacolicious]

*An inverted Taco sees the new comer* Welcome! Have a drink, just remember they go on the delegate's tab. *Taco passes Cherokee a vial of magic liquid which turns into their drink of choice*

So why don't we just throw cookies at Empire until he wakes up, Khablan? Worst case scenario is he wakes up in a pile of cookies... and who wouldn't want that?

[Khablan]

Cool.  Hmm, let's see now, how about... One point for every shot that hits.  Five points if one sticks in his mouth.  Extra points for creativity.

Oh, hi, Cherokee.  Here, have a handful of cookies.  You know where the target is.

[Talmann]

*After rigging up complicated-looking contraption, stands up and pulls a lever*
*Mechanism working while Talmann speaks*
Alright everybody, partay! Celebrate 100th page of the Tavern, drinks are on me!
*smiles as the contraption throws 100 quarters into 100 barrels of random liquer*
...literally..

* Talmann jumps into the nearest vat of wine

[Tacolicious]

Sweet, thanks Talmann  Barkeep give me a barrel of 60 year aged scotch!

*Taco pulls out a weird contraption made from an accordion, a fish tank, duct tape and a mouse trap. As he plays a hypnotic waltz a cookie slides from the fish tank, lands on the mouse trap and sends it flying at a passed out empire. The cookies shatters to crumbs off his forehead*

Maybe a little less tension on the spring...

[Khablan]

Mama Khab does a flying leap, kicking off the wall into a backflip, landing with a terribly sweet pirhouette, and flying her cookie like a frisbee toward Empire's mouth... but ends up nearly hitting his groin instead. 

Hmm.  A little too much English on that spin.  You two can have the wine and the scotch.  Pass me the wodka! 

[The Empire]

*rolls over on the side*

[Allama]

* Lining up two barrels next to the bar, Alana leaps into the first of Cabernet Sauvignon, drains it, and bounces back out to land directly into the second, containing Pinot Grigio.

Fully clothed bath time, huzzah!  Would someone hand me a cookie?  I want to dip and throw; wine cookies all around, especially on Emp!

[Tacolicious]

*Taco give Allama several cookies and puts a target on the passed out Empire. Taco takes another cookies and throws it nice and level with a fast spin, skipping it off several open barrels of various alcohols and lands it directly in Empires mouth*

Hey, how deeply does a cookie need to be lodged in someone's throat before they choke on it? *Just to be safe Taco moves the cookie a little ways out of Empire's mouth so that a horrible tragedy and a waste of food can be avoided. Since Empire can't be awake to reward Taco's selfless life-saving act he takes his wallet*

[Allama]

* Dipping cookies into every barrel she can reach (without getting out of her own, of course), Alana passes them out to whoever wants one and interminably throws some into a bowl she had placed on Emp's chest.

There, now he has a snack to revive him when he comes to.  Anyone want another alcohol-drenched cookie?  Khab, oatmeal rum raisin for you?  Would you like a beer brownie, Taco?  Talmann, perhaps you'd enjoy a snickerdoodle with red wein?

Hmm... I'm thinking of getting a patent and selling them at a Booze Bakery, in which I will also sell brownies, cakes, Scotch Bread, and all sorts of baked goodies with alcohol poured over top or soaked in like a marinade.  Oooh, dipping "sauce" as well!  Haha, I'm lame enough to make myself laugh.

[Khablan]

Why thank you, Allama dear, don't mind if I do.  You're just so thoughtful.  Ooh, a booze bakery?  Now that's ingenious!  It'll put the brandy-soaked fruitcake industry to shame. 

Taco, for thy humanitarian efforts, I award thee a gold star.

*Mama Khab licks the back of it and sticks it to his forehead, then steps back while Taco basks in the applause.*

[Talmann]

Why, yes, Alana, I would enjoy a snickerdoodle with wine. Thank ya very much. How'd ya know I like the funny little doodle?

* Talmann reaches over to Taco

Ya know... Emp's not gonna be too happy when he finds out you took 'is wallet again...