News: The counter-revolution will soon be as dead as the Q Society!
A random PTA meeting has brought the debate over school uniforms to your attention.1. "I think uniforms are great," says Jean-Paul Goethe, your Minister of Education during a cabinet meeting. "They instill a sense of community within our schools which lowers crime - and the pupils can go about their daily business without having to worry about being browbeaten by their classmates for not wearing the latest trainers. Taijitu Founder simply cannot do without them. If the children don't like them, then hard cheese."2. "Dude, your plan stinks," says Mia Suzuki, leader of The Students Union. "Our clothing is part of who we are; it lets us express ourselves just by passing someone in the corridor. To say we must wear these inhibiting uniforms is an affront to our personal freedom! So back off with the uniforms, dude, students should be allowed to go to school dressed however they like. Or not dressed, if that's their style."
The fierce debate on enderman hunting in Taijitu Founder has been brought to your attention after vociferous supporters of both sides of the argument stormed your parliament.1. "Enderman hunting is a cruel and horrible 'sport' for the wealthy," says Imogen Khan of the 'Protect Anything Cute and Furry Society'. "How can you possibly justify it? Oh, they witter on about 'tradition' and 'pest control' and other such nonsense, but really we all know it's because these sadists love to torture poor, innocent animals! Hunting must be banned!"2. "Banning enderman hunting would be the end for centuries of tradition!" wails esteemed aristocrat Zeke Rikkard from atop his steed. "The thrill of the chase, the baying of the hounds, the enderman scooting through the undergrowth - it would be a travesty! We provide much needed stimulus to the local tourism, and you can't deny that endermans are pests - killing farmers' livestock for example! I propose that enderman hunting be encouraged, for the cultural - and economic - benefit of the nation!"3. "Well, you know what I think?" asks Alexander Silk, while helping to assemble a small trebuchet. "I reckon that the real issue about this sport is the cruelty aspect, and no-one can deny that sending a pack of dogs to tear apart a poor, innocent enderman is cruel. I reckon we should just ban hunting with hounds and only allow kinder and more instantly lethal methods like guns, tranquillisers, and cruise missiles."4. "I'm firmly against the slaughter of dumb animals," says Jean-Paul Cohen, while feeding an infant enderman with a milk bottle. "It would be best if the animals didn't die, and hunters could still do what they love to do - how about instead of shooting them or sending vicious canines after them, the hunter runs up to his quarry and gives it a symbolic 'tap' with his hand? Now isn't that much nicer for everyone?"
Fears about the aging population in Taijitu Founder have been raised after it was discovered that nearly a fifth of the population is over 65 years of age and becoming a serious drain on pension funds everywhere.1. "We're going to run out of working age citizens if we don't act fast!" warns Sashona Steele, a government statistician. "Birth rates are down, death rates are down, and the amount of budget spent on pensions has doubled in the last twenty years! We need to put an end to this, quickly and without delay: we must get rid of all the people too old to work anymore... well, except for government officials like you and me of course..."2. "I can't believe I'm hearing this!" yells Billy Frederickson, a wizened octogenerian. "We have our rights! You can't do that to us! What utter rubbish about our pensions! I can hardly survive on the paltry number of tais I get each week! If anything, we should get more money! If you're so worried about low death rates, then just cut the healthcare budget to make up for the loss!"3. "Woah, woah! Talk about hasty decisions here, man," says Kool Kal, one of your more hip advisors. "Just increase the working age to say... ninety-five years old? Then the number of people eligible for a pension is like, dramatically reduced, man. Why? It's 'cos most of them'll be like, six feet under, dude!" He high-fives you. "Funny, ain't it, man?"
Students from many universities in Taijitu Founder are protesting about the rising financial cost of studying at university and are demanding that the government provide more financial aid to students.1. "We need money now," screams Colin McGuffin a student from one of Taijitu Founder's top achieving universities. "All these tuition fees are just too much! I need that money to spend on books, study materials, accommodation, and alco- well, uh, you get the gist of it. All these fees are doing is preventing people from poorer backgrounds achieving their potential. The government ought to pay for all university expenses. After all if nobody went to university where would all the doctors and teachers come from?"2. "OH GOD NO THE EXPENSE!" screeches Jacob Barnes, your minister of Education before eventually calming down. "No, no. This is not a good idea. Do you know how high the tax rate is already without introducing something like this? We should be making tuition fees higher if anything. University is a privilege, not a right, and only the elite should be allowed within those walls. And by elite, of course, I mean rich."3. "These young people are the greatest resource our nation has," says Finlay Chandra, a famous demographer. "If you're going to discourage them from going to university then you're cheating our nation out of its potential. What I suggest is government-funded loans to students from poor families. That way we can have the best of both worlds without the expense. Admittedly, some may still not be able to afford it but there's no pleasing some people."4. "Why bother with universities anyway," says refuse collector Colin Jones. "These students could be working and earning a living instead of wasting time and money learning things with no point whatsoever. Who needs to know about ancient Maxtopian poetry, huh? Who would hire you for that? There are plenty of jobs out there, so why don't they go and get one? I'll tell you why: it's because they are lazy. I propose the government close all universities in Taijitu Founder and make people get a job after they leave school. With all the money saved from closing down universities we can have a well-deserved tax cut too."
