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News: Citoyen reminder: Socioendangerment levels run from one to sixteen. Cooperation with mandatory sentencing from the Citoyen-Mediator may result in decreased rehabilitation length.

Author Topic: Jokes  (Read 4447 times)

Offline Tacolicious

  • Your Friendly Neighborhood Tacoman
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Re: Jokes
« Reply #75 on: April 02, 2007, 02:34:46 AM »
Here's a joke for the vegetarians:

What do you get when you hatch an eggplant?

Chick peas
http://www.nationstates.net/wheresoever

"Reality is an illusion albeit a persistant one"
"Wisest is he who knows he is not wise"
"Nothing is fun when you have to do it, that's why you don't see a lot of old whores giggling over sex"


Delicious Comrade of the most Awesome Party

Offline Solnath

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #76 on: April 02, 2007, 05:36:44 AM »
"Two men and a monkey walk into a bar.

...I forget the rest, but your mom's a whore."
Neutral Evil

Offline orsis

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #77 on: April 02, 2007, 01:25:37 PM »
Shortly after her wedding, the newlywed wife is complaining to her mother about her husband's insatiable sexual appetite.

"He wants to do it 15 times a day, anytime, anyplace, anywhere -- on the table, on the stairs, on the sofa, in the car, in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening. I can barely walk anymore!"

The mother advises her daughter to tell him that she has her period, which seems like a good idea.

So that evening, when the husband comes home from work, he proceeds to undress himself and his wife, when she stops him.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but it's that time of the month."

The husband gets up, looks at his wife, and says, "It's all good honey. I understand." He puts on a robe and walks away.

The wife is somewhat surprised at the mature reaction of her husband, until a few minutes later he returns holding two glasses and a bottle of champagne.

So she asks, "What's going on, dear?"

"We're celebrating!" he replies.

"Celebrating? What exactly are we celebrating?" she asks.

"Anal sex week!"
Even the most primitive weapons can still cause pain! (if only for the camel)

Offline Varkour

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #78 on: April 02, 2007, 03:55:37 PM »
The world’s funniest joke according to scientists.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’ The operator says: ‘Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: ‘OK, now what?’"






Offline Solnath

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #79 on: April 02, 2007, 04:15:30 PM »
Two men walk into a bar. A third one sees this and still hits his head on the bar.
Neutral Evil

Offline orsis

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #80 on: April 03, 2007, 02:52:31 PM »
Beware!! Costco Scam! Please be careful.

I don't how many of you shop at Costco, but this may be useful to know. I have become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me and it could happen to you.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy t-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another store. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday, yesterday, and most likely again tomorrow.
Even the most primitive weapons can still cause pain! (if only for the camel)

Offline The Empire

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #81 on: April 03, 2007, 02:57:11 PM »
LOL @^

Join the Word Bearer legion and brin glory to the dark gods! Taijitu stalker extraordinaire - no Taijituan presses a key without my knowledge, Resident Cannibal - I prefer females, Resident ginormous dragon - It is not a good idea to mess with a dragon who is packing heavy firepower

Offline orsis

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #82 on: April 03, 2007, 03:25:59 PM »
thanx
Even the most primitive weapons can still cause pain! (if only for the camel)

Offline orsis

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #83 on: April 03, 2007, 07:37:31 PM »
Even the most primitive weapons can still cause pain! (if only for the camel)

Offline The Empire

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #84 on: April 04, 2007, 06:03:58 PM »
^= Poor Madagascar... :P

Join the Word Bearer legion and brin glory to the dark gods! Taijitu stalker extraordinaire - no Taijituan presses a key without my knowledge, Resident Cannibal - I prefer females, Resident ginormous dragon - It is not a good idea to mess with a dragon who is packing heavy firepower

Offline Allama

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #85 on: April 04, 2007, 06:45:40 PM »
Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porche?
A: I don't have a Porche in my garage.

Offline The Empire

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #86 on: April 04, 2007, 09:47:20 PM »
All the children was playing in the surf, except for Clark, he was eaten by a shark...

Join the Word Bearer legion and brin glory to the dark gods! Taijitu stalker extraordinaire - no Taijituan presses a key without my knowledge, Resident Cannibal - I prefer females, Resident ginormous dragon - It is not a good idea to mess with a dragon who is packing heavy firepower

Offline Algerianbania

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #87 on: April 05, 2007, 01:45:54 AM »
Don't drink and drive. You might spill.
Member of the Order of the Gryphons, Senator of Taijitu, Ambassador to The North Pacific, Deputy MoEA of The North Pacific, Member of the Regional Assembly of The North Pacific
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It's the chaos fetish theory.  As soon as you think of it, it automatically exists.
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If you have a proplem, blame Soly.

Offline Allama

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #88 on: April 05, 2007, 01:53:54 PM »
Q: How do you find the population of Mexico?
A: Roll a quarter down the street.

Q: How do you find the richest man in Mexico?
A: Whoever gets the quarter.


Off-color jokes, yay!

Offline Varkour

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #89 on: April 05, 2007, 03:13:00 PM »
All the children was playing in the surf, except for Clark, he was eaten by a shark...

All the children had fun in the jungle, except for Camilla, she was raped by a Gorilla...