Taijitu
Forum Meta => Archive => Archived Fun => Topic started by: Utaia on March 26, 2007, 07:55:10 PM
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In this thread you wish for something. The next person to post grants the wish, but corrupts it in a humorous, ironic, or diabolical way.
Example:
Poster A: I wish I had a million dollars.
Poster B: Granted! You get a million dollars, but you earn it in a settlement over a freak nose-severing accident. I wish I lived in a huge mansion.
Poster C: Granted. But you work their as my slave.
and on and on. ill start.
i wish i had a pool filled with jello in my backyard.
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Granted! Unfortunately its arsenic flavor and you die.
I wish I owned Canada.
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Granted! But Canada gets taken over by US one week later.
I wish i had a pet moose
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Granted! But the pet moose has natural moose urges and your leg is the closest thing he can find to a lady moose. I wish I was an immortal, invunerable, shape shifter.
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granted but u cn't stop shape shifting and are shunned for eternity
i wish i had the power to know everything about a subject just by wanting to know about it
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Granted, but you wondered one day how babies were made and found out about your own conception. :|
I want photoshop cs.
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Granted, but it's the 5 second demo version which thanks to a bug prevents a working version from ever being installed.
I wish I had a beer.
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Granted, but the Beer is nasty and it kills you
I wish i had Fallen Earth!
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DENIED!
Juuuust kidding, granted, but it's actually Earth that's fallen, and it can't get up!
I wish for weapons of mass destruction.
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y?
granted however thy r faulty and only end up blowing u up
i wish i wasn't afraid of anything
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I'm afraid that won't work, because even though I grant you your wish, you'll constantly be afraid of fearing something you haven't thought of before anything.
I wish for the sword of Michael.
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hmm wot type of sword is that?
u get it but in such an unusual place its too rude to type
i hope u enjoy it
i wish all women had big breasts
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(Do we have to grant these wishes?)
Granted, but the change occurs when you're resting your head on a girl's chest and you snap your sexist neck.
The sword of Michael is a holy, flaming longsword, it wouldn't hurt me. That's what you get for having faith.
I wish for someone cute to cuddle right here, right now.
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Granted - u get me (the cute part's debatable)
i'm not sexist - i was just in a rush and couldn't think of anything else to say - doesn't help tht i've played this type of game before and used up all my best ideas
i wish i hadn't offended u with my last (sexist) wish
and as for the holy flaming longsword - well, is that what they call it nowadays
i warned u about my humour and u mentioned a challenge - so lets go!
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i wish you 2 would shut up!
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granted - but only temporarily
i wish i had superhuman strength and speed
oh yeah, and endurance, so i can last a VERY long time during whatever energetic exercises i choose to do (hmm - i wonder what that will be?)
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Granted but you new superhuman strength causes you do accidently rip the head off a puppy and you are executed for puppycide.
I wish lobsters were cute
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Orsis, you take me too seriously.
Wheresoever, your wish has been grrrrrrrrrrrrrrranted.
However, they are quickly hunted to extinction for their cute shells.
I wish I had something non-alcoholic to drink.
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i take u too seriously? Now thats good news
wish granted - its mercury
i wish i could just think of a meal and it would appear on my plate perfectly cooked
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Granted. You can now think of nothing but food.
I wish I could understand Hebrew.
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wish granted however it becomes a dead language and is useless - i wish i was a telepath
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Granted. You work in a hospice for the brain-dead, and die of boredom yourself.
I wish I could eat bread.
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You can, but now the bread is moldy and kills you.
I wish I got paid more.
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Granted, but you get paid in sulfuric acid.
I wish I'd pass my driver's exam today.
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Granted, but insurance on a car is really expensive.
I wish I could wish for something which can not be turned into a negative, cannot be used to kill me, and has an overall pleasant effect.
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Granted. You are able to wish that, but it never comes true.
I wish Ohio State beats Florida tonight. I detest Gator fans.
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Granted, but Ohio never wins a match in anything. Ever.
I wish for three scrolls of genocide.
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That twist of events actually doesn't bother me at all, since I'm a Bama fan.
Granted, but since I don't have a clue as to what you're talking about, I'm giving you scrolls depicting genocide. Then they blow up.
I wish I knew why I was spamming.
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Granted, but the reason depresses you so much that you commit suicide.
Scrolls of genocide are from Nethack, read one, pick a species and they're gooooone.
I wish I had a faerie dragon as my loyal familiar.
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Granted but its over protective and eats all ur boyfriends
i wish there was such a thing as happily ever after
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Granted, but the amount of happiness dulls you and you feel nothing at all, ever after.
I wish people would just stop fighting and dance it out.
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granted but all the males are now gay (cos lets face it the straight 1's of us wudn't do tht!)
i wish i could type super fast
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Granted, but you wouldn't be able to type anything properly.
I wish all goes well on my date this afternoon.
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granted
(i dn't hv the heart to wish anythin nasty on u after u've wished tht - so goood luck!)
i wish there was no such thing as physical defects
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Granted, but mental defects substitute them, tenfold.
(Thanks, ;D)
I wish my flatmate would finally show up so that we can go shopping, yay!
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i wish spring break would go on forever
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granted but you miss all the fun and still die even though everyone else lives forever and has a jolly time.
i wish i had a green dress, but not a real grean dress because thats cruel.
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Granted, but it doesn't fit.
I wish I don't miss my bus.
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granted but there's a nutter with a couple of grenades - but dn't worry ur date (mentioned above) saves the day
wahey!
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"Wahey" is granted, which is an ancient word for "Ten thousand kicks to the face" but the person losses track and gives you 15,000 kicks to the face.
I wish pot were legal.
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Granted, but marihuana harvests suddenly fail, permanently.
I wish for world peace in the RP.
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wheresoever - r u takin the piss about wahey cos i actually wikipedia'd it
granted but no 1 is ever aloud to start an argument and life becomes boring - also no 1 eva confronts ppl about something that bothers thm so evry 1 hates evry 1
i wish it was easier to keep in touch with friends
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Hey Orsis, I just took the last word in your post (since you didn't put a wish down) and tried to think up something humorous for it to mean. So that's what I came up with.
I wish my humor would always translate.
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Granted, but only to Dalmatian.
I wish today will be a nice day.
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wheresoever - i thought thts wot u did but wasn't sure so asked
granted but all other days are horrible
i wish i could be invisible
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Granted, but you lose your sight while invisible.
I wish for a thousand squirrels.
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Granted! Unfortunately your house is destroyed by Martian Tripods from War of the Worlds, atomizing the squirrels instantly, along with you.
I wish a Laser Diode Module, because the ad under the spell check said I should.
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Orsis, No troubles my friend ;D
Granted, but this sets a dangerous precedence and the next ad you see is for gay bondage domination.
I wish that this thread has a long and prosperous life and brings joy to many people throughout the region and around the world.
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While all this joy and happiness is happening it leaves a window of opportunity open for an invasion by floating brains from space.
I wish I had a penny for my thoughts.
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Granted, but that's all you get. A single penny for anything you think and no one ever listens to your ideas.
I wish patriots could be a bit less disgusting.
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Granted, but by being less disgusting they become more appealing to the ignorant public and the absolute worst of them are elected to office in every election for all time. Enjoy your military dictatorship.
I wish I didn't have to go to work again tomorrow.
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I will, thanks. ;D
Granted, but you get fired and run out of money.
I wish that my roommate would get on with our RP campaign.
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Granted. But she does it with a very annoying significant other who smells absolutely awful and has a high pitched shriek.
I wish that I could play guitar like a master.
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Granted you now play guitar like a master blacksmith.
I wish ducks had the vote
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Granted but they are mutant ducks that eat everything they see
I wish that I could talk with Jesus
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Granted but Jesus just wants to talk about episodes of Battlestar Galactica since he's adopted a "been there done that" stance on the whole salvation/enlightenment thing.
I wish Jesus would stop spoiling episodes of BSG that I haven't seen yet.
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Granted but now he will only talk about how his holy pet goldfish, Splicky, keeps dying and coming back to life.
I wish that I could be really strong.
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Granted, but you can't touch anything without breaking it.
I wish I would get infatuated with someone more often.
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Granted, how's it going?
I wish people would stop thinking that pizza is a cheap date, I just like pizza and it's one of the few types of restaurants that guarantees vegetarian dishes
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It's not.
Granted, but everyone will think you're bourgeois for eating pizza and socialists will hit you with sticks. (They can't afford anything worse, don't worry.)
I wish Taijitu would be more awake at decent, humane times like now.
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Granted, but all anyone posts about are Chuck Norris jokes.
I wish the sky was pretty purple.
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Granted but then the everyone else kill you beacuse of it
i wish i had Fallen Earth
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granted but u get over excited and die of a heart attack before u get a chance to play it
i wish i had super fast reactions
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Granted, but you have to sleep 23 hours a day to maintain them.
I wish people would stop making Chuck Norris jokes.
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Granted but then Chuck Norris would kill you and then undo your wish.
I wish Tai was owned by me.
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Granted. You now own nothing else. No house, no clothes, no computer, no money.
I wish I could speed-read.
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Granted, but you get a hundred papercuts from flipping the pages too fast and bleed to death.
I wish I had a red Lamborghini Diablo.
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Granted, but the engine is missing and the paint is all that's keeping the rust together after it crossed the atlantic ocean...
I wish I got to meet anyone of those I have gotten to know over the web
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Granted, but they all turn out to be fat men in their 70's with a fetish for Swedish boys.
I wish I had my own library full of books.
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(I feel sorry for the old fossiles in that case... I'm no boy anymore and I did my compulsory military service a few years ago >:-)
Granted, but they are all phone-books covering Murmansk, Hanoi and New Dehli, all written in the respective local languages of course...
I wish I could tickle ^ across the web O:-)
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Granted, but it turns out I weigh 647 pounds and your hand is swallowed by my tummy, never to be seen again. (there should be a ridiculously overweight smiley to go here)
I wish I had a magic lamp that would grant me another wish.
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Granted, but the female genie in it has a bad hair-day and also thinks you are too cute to let go of so she refuses to grant you any wishes that doesn't include her staying with you permanently ;D
I wish I weren't so lonely as often
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Granted, but the female genie in it has a bad hair-day and also thinks you are too cute to let go of so she refuses to grant you any wishes that doesn't include her staying with you permanently ;D
What's the negative side?
Granted, but the company you get is annoying as hell. And Norwegian.
I wish I had a genie like that.
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Granted. You had a genie like that. :P
I wish for a poodle.
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Granted, but greater powers misheard you so now you wet yourself and have a puddle.
I wish I'd be able to get up of bed so I can make myself dinner.
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Granted, you manage to get out of the bed but you have nothing in the fridge and nothing in the freezer and since easter starts tomorrow the store closed two hours ago...
(Solnath, I have a classmate that is norwegian, there's nothing wrong with them, they just have funny accents and are a bit more crazy)
I wish my bags would pack themselves
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Granted, you manage to get out of the bed but you have nothing in the fridge and nothing in the freezer and since easter starts tomorrow the store closed two hours ago...
...and this is oh-so-true.
Granted, but you still lose them before reaching your destination.
I wish you all a happy Easter!
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Granted, but it's easter 2046
I wish I stretch the 5 minutes before work to be as long as I please
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granted but the time ur at work stretches by the same proportion
i wish women bowed down at my feet
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Granted, one does before she amputates your gangrinous right foot...
I wish my Sabina would be here...
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Granted, but Sabina is radioactive so you die from leukemia.
I wish it wouldn't be so hot outside.
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(it's much more likely she kills me through overheating ;D)
Granted, it's now hotter inside and you die from heat-stroke
I wish I had a collector's weapons-licence
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Granted, but Sabina is radioactive so you die from leukemia.
I wish it wouldn't be so hot outside.
You should move to the Yukon then, we still got snow on the ground.
Granted, but the government fees leave you too poor to afford any weapons to collect
I wish the snow would melt (and it is, just not as quickly as I'd like)
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Granted, but all water evaporates and blocks the sun for a century before dissipating into space.
I wish I wasn't so cold emotionally.
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Granted, but it requires you to evaluate honestly why you are so emotionally cold and to have true dedication to changing that which you seek to change. As someone once told me and I now tell you "Be the change you seek"
I wish I could give honest advice without sounding like a cliche sage
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Granted, but it still doesn't help anyone.
I wish people wouldn't skip minor details that are in fact major.
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granted and judjing by ur last 2 posts ur feeling kinda rough emotionally?
care to talk about it?
i wish PUR would dance around the pole i set up in the Taijitu Tavern
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Granted, but she won't strip.
Thanks for the offer, no AIM here though and I'm introverted.
I wish I'd meet George Carlin.
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AIM? introverted?
granted
i wish the tavern attracted types who would dance round my pole
(think about the double meaning)
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Granted, but you've become a planet and it's your north pole.
(I'd rather not.)
I wish my memory would work better.
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Granted, with a simple trick you can remember anything. However you never apply this trick to the trick and quickly forget how it is done.
I wish :drunks:
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Granted, but guess what? Alcohol poisoning -> death.
I wish for misery upon all others.
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Granted, but you get misery unto yourself and commit suicide under depression.
I wish I was a child again
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Granted, but this time you are a child working in a sweat shop.
I wish C64's were still widely available
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Granted, but electricity runs out.
I wish people would RP more frequently.
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Granted, but LotR refereneces dominate the day and much great lore is forgotten for the sake of dwarves and hobbits and Zues, Odin and Kali make there presence felt with fearsome bolt, thuderous rage and the fires of destruction which build new lore. In the ashes the extended trilogy DVD is found once once again. One trilogy to rule them all, one trilogy to blind them. One trilogy to lose them all and in the ignorance bind them!
I wish the path I see so clearly is seen so clearly because it is the path to be walked and not one more vision to give me sleepless thought when I need sleep instead.
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Granted, but 'tis a path to loneliness and self-destruction.
I wish my mood-swings wouldn't be *this* dramatic.
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Granted, you've been turned into a robot with NO moods
I wish I was better looking
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Granted, but you attract only those who you won't like under any circumstance whatsoever.
I wish for world peace. >:D
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Granted, but it will not last.
I wish for eternal youth with infinite knowledge.
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Granted, but infinite knowledge replaces your personality. Nigh eternal existance without purpose.
I wish for a steed.
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Granted, but its a Martian War Machine.
I wish for pasta.
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Granted, but its a Martian War Machine.
What's the bad side in that?
Granted, but you can't eat it. You're married to it.
I wish I wasn't so likely to be eaten by grue.
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Granted, Grue makes a drink out of you instead.
I wish I had a pet penguin
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Granted, but a sea leopard eats it and you.
I wish I could become a cyborg.
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Granted, but you never figure out how.
I wish for a sturgeon.
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granted but he kills you.
i wish i knew how to spell
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Granted! Unfortunately your mom thinks she can achieve it by jamming a dictionary in your brain. You die shortly later.
I wish for a robot.
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Granted but little boys take you apart and sell you for scraps
I wish I could sing like Barbra Streisand.
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Granted! Later your throat is ripped out by killer racoons, leaving you alive and tormented that you could sing like Barbra Streisand for only a few seconds.
I wish for untold riches and fame.
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Granted! But after 15 min Microsoft sues you for everything you own and you kill yourself
I wish I had a huge.................................brain.
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Granted, but your neck snaps under the weight and you die.
I wish people like Götterdämmerung.
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Granted, but then people realize, WTF is Götterdämmerung.
I wish I knew what Götterdämmerung was.
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Granted, but you have to google for Ragnarök to find out.
I wish you all a slow death and a quick ride to hell. :P
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Grant. But your along for the ride.
I wish you would be nice.
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Granted! Solnath is so nice she offers you a quick death.
I wish I had Photoshop.
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Granted! But you dont know how to use it and when you hire someone to teach you, instead you get castrated
I wish I had a new computer
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Granted! Its falls of a Russian space station and lands on a panda.
I wish I had a personnel jesus.
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Granted, but Human Resources claims it as their property and they off-shore it to the Philippines.
I wish you people would chill a bit.
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Granted! The chill created freezes over the North Atlantic, creating a new ice age.
I wish I had a Tomato.
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Granted, but it's a Rotten Tomato.
I wish I had a decent, unselfish wish.
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Granted! You get nothing.
I wish I could win the lottery.
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Granted, but the chances are still pretty slim.
To prove I'm nice, I wish Algerianbania a quick death.
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i suppose thts nice cos its not long and painful but it still looks kinda bitchy
i wish the nights weren't so borin
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Granted, but the days are ten times more boring.
I give my wish to the next poster, so they can have two.
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wish no. 1 I wish that lass in that avatar would stop dancing
no. 2 she would be replaced by a sexy lass of 16 yrs of age or older - but not too much older
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gartened but then it shows a av of killing your av
i wish i was boba fett
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Granted but Boba Fett was 5 seconds from being fed to the rancor when you became him.
I wish I was a jedi
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Granted, but you are covered in midichlorian-eating leeches :P
I wish I can find some open store today
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granted but it is a letaher whip store
i wish i was boba fett WHEN he WASNT ABOUT TO DIE
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Granted, but you're already dead.
I wish I hadn't inhaled orange juice a while ago.
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granted, you now drowned in it
I wish I had a real CV90 AMOS
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granted, you now drowned in it
I wish I had a real CV90 AMOS
Drowning requires inhaling liquid. Hah!
Granted, but it's confiscated by the feds.
I wish I had a pillow-buddy.
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granted but it isn't straight
i wish i was Boba Fett when he wasnt about to die, nor was he already dead
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Granted, you get to be Boba Fett for three seconds just when he was born until the umbilical cord is cut.
I wish my girlfriend was lying in my bed :wb: O:-)
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Granted, but her parents are with her.
I wish people could be more understanding towards the importance of thermonuclear warfare.
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Granted, but they all start using it causing WWIII.
I wish that I was a god.
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Granted, but you are a god of a long forgotten culture and due to lack of worship you no longer have any powers. And you're very, very bitter about it.
I wish that wishes I cast on shooting stars would come true.
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Granted but you wished that you could get a closer look at the star and are crushed by it.
I wish Tacos were the national passtime
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Granted, it is, but there is nothing[/b] else.
I wish I had someone else physically present here to talk to
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Granted, it is, but there is nothing[/b] else.
I wish I had someone else physically present here to talk to
Sweet Taco only world, I see no problem with this.... why play baseball when you can play Taco ball? Drink beer when you have Tacohol? Enjoy the sun when a giant Taco warms the planet made of tacos... Sounds like a paradise to me...
Granted, but that person George Bush and he accuses you of being a witch because you have a remote control for you're TV. He tries to burn you at the steak resulting in a second degree burn and a waste of food.
I wish I had a tall glass of Tacohol right now....
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Granted, but it's just sulphuric acid you call "Tacohol" and you have to drink.
I wish I didn't have to play by myself all the time. :(
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Granted, but the people you now play with a huge jerks and you eventually go back to playing alone after so much annoyance.
I wish people would be nice to pandas.
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Granted, but the Pandas are given too much bamboo and too many belly rubs and vomit themselves to death.
I wish I had a Lincoln sytle top hat.
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Granted, but there is a bomb inside it and it kills you
i wish i was Boba Fett where he wasn't about 2 die, he wasn't already dead, and he nothing bad is about to happen to him within 2 years
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Granted, you're Boba Fett as kid who falls into a well when he's six and there's no Lassie.
I wish our dog would eat properly.
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Granter Properly's family sues you for wrongful death.
I wish people would stop making Boba Fett wishes.... You can't be Boba Fett unless something bad is about to happen to him. 1) It's the game 2)Even if it wasn't bad things would still happen because God hates Boba Fett... I wish Chuck Norris would fight Boba Fett
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Granted, they beat the crap out of eachother until they see you and decide that you would be much more fun as a punching bag
I wish I have a car
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Granted but it's a police car and the previous owners look kinda pissed.
I wish I could use nunchucks like Michelangelo
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Granted, but you can use them as well as the artist Michelangelo.
I wish I could sense others' emotions better.
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Granted but you have to work a freak show doing it
I wish i could understand what my dog was barking about
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Granted, but you realise he's been calling you an idiot all these past years so you are broken by the treatchery of your companion.
I wish I understood Arabic.
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Granted but it is now the only language you can understand.
I wish spiders had nine legs
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Granted, but the extra body weight causes it to fall off the table you put it, and the dog steps on it.
I wish I cried less.
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Granted you now stop crying 3 microseconds sooner then you normally would but it hurts ten times as much.
I wish my download would hurry up.
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granted - but the downloads fucked
i wish i could walk through walls
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Granted, but only through Japanese paper walls.
I wish I cried more. :P
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Granted. Being unable to get moisture into your body at a sufficient rate to compensate for the unstoppable crying, you dehydrate and die.
I wish my desk had a built-in candy machine.
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granted but it is in a wrong place and everybody wants your candy
i wish i knew what the Heck Cheiwe in Star Wars was saying
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Granted. But he's actually say, "Let's kill Boba Fett!" And then you need to run and hide for the rest of your life.
I wish I had my leg back.
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Granted but its not your leg, its a sudice bombers leg and it kills you
i wish i knew what boa fett looked like without his amour on( the adult version!)
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granted, but he is actually Michael Jackson and he takes you to Neverland Ranch for the weekend. ;)
I wish Leonidas I survived the battle of Thermopylae...
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Granted, but the sad remainder of life is trite and meaningless.
I wish I had more than a half hour for lunch.
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Granted, but you are constantly harassed during lunch.
I wish I had a time machine.
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Granted. But I steal it.
I wish I had a time machine.
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granted, but you fuck up and destroy earth
I wish I could fly
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Granted, but you motor skills suck and you crash.
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No wish, eh?
I wish I could be one of my RP characters.
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granted, but Boba Fett kills you.
I wish I knew who shot JFK.
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Granted, but Boba Fett, who actually did it, kills you, too.
I wish that my brother has a great time in Dublin.
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Granted. In fact, he has such a great time, he starts to brag about it and you begin to realize how dull your life is.
I wish I was a panda. ;D
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Granted. Welcome to extinction.
I wish.
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Granted but all your wishes have an ironic and cruel twist added to them by the next poster.
I wish I had a spaceship
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Granted, but its inhabited by aliens that want nothing more than to sodomize you.
I wish I was a cooler guy!
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Granted, you're now in charge of company ventilation.
I wish Algerianbania adopted a non-panda avatar.
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Granted, they use an embarrassing picture of you as the new avatar.
I wish goldfish could talk (the crackers or the pet, I really don't care which)
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Any picture of me is quite embarrasing. ;D
Granted, but they speak Hebrew.
I wish I won't smoke all of my cigarettes today.
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I wish I had 30 posts.
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Granted, but they're on another forum.
I wish I could start doing my essays soon.
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Granted. You start, but never finish.
I wish I had a pony.
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Granted, but the pony gets rabies and starts attacking you Cujo style.
I wish I knew why Solnath hates pandas.
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Granted, but as a result you will hate them too.
I wish I attracted more cute people to me, socially.
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granted but they are all scyo paths like me
i wish i knew why i was oicked on at school
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Granted, but you find out that it was because you couldn't spell and you're fat.
I wish I could shapeshift.
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im not fat!
granted but you turn into a Fat Gay man and you cant come out on it
i wish i had a flamethorwer
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Issues, Vera, darling?
Granted, but it throws flame everywhere when used.
I wish people would accept help when they need it.
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Granted, but you have to help them ALL the time and die in a car crash from falling asleep at the wheel
I wish I were one of Kane's subcommanders and that the brotherhood of NOD existed IRL
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what?
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Granted, but NOD loses eventually and all commanders 'cept Kane himself are killed.
I wish I would feel more tired after staying awake for 36 hours and that I wasn't burning up.
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Granted. But in your tired state you accidentally fall into a pit of pandas, who brainwash you to act just like them.
I wish I was the singer in a rock band.
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Granted...but because your a panda you never get laid which defeats the object of being in a band...(Don't try to claim it's to share you're music or lyrics) :-P
I wish I was the king of Mesopotamia
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Granted but the US imposes sanctions on you and topples your "regime"
I wish I actually lived in a free society
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Granted, but then someone decides he/she should be free to use others at will and tries become dictator, you being accidentally killed in the civil war that ensues.
I wish I had more time for my school project
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granted but u still can't be arsed to do it
i wish that all the issues people seem to have here (reading between the lines) would be expressed openly so we can sort them out
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Granted. Get to it people.
I wish what ^ wished for wasn't so difficult for everyone.
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Granted, now it's only difficult for you :P
I wish my girlfriend finds a way to slip away to me for a couple of days when she writes her next letter.
-
she does but..eh...hmmm....well....she doesn't, sorry.
I wish that Prag's wolf avatar could howl in the forums.
-
^ "Granted, but as a result you will never see her again.
Granted, but you can drop its volume and it plays via PC speaker or similar integrated hardware like your computer's fan.
I wish my bunny will get better or, barring that, taste better than the last one.
-
Granted, but it tastes SO GOOD you become addicted to bunny flesh and are permanently banned from the zoo.
I wish I was fluent in Japanese as a third language.
-
Not granted, no f-ing way, you're not going there young lady!
I wish I'd be better at the languages I already know.
-
Granted, but you must be taught by a panda in language arts for the next 10 years.
I wish I could talk with God.
-
Granted. Congratulations on dying! Now you get to talk with Him all you want.
I wish my stapler would stop biting me, damn it! I only want to put more staples in you!
-
Granted, but all other office equipment start biting you.
I wish I had something or -one to do.
-
Granted. It's a panda. Have fun you animal pervert.
I wish I was crying right now to a really sad movie.
-
Granted, but it's sad only because it's so poorly made.
I wish Rocky Balboa wouldn't feel like a cool movie.
-
Granted, but now Titanic does.
I wish I was young again.
-
Granted, but now you age three times faster and only live 1/3rd as long.
I wish weed was legal
-
Granted, but all natural cannabis all over the world has been replaced with industrial grade cannabis wich means no hallucinogeic effect.
I wish my room would clean itself once and for all and keep itself ordered.
-
Granted, but seeing inanimate objects move of their own volition scares you so badly you have to go to psychotherapy for the remainder of your life.
I wish I had another tasty chocolate bar.
-
Granted, but its not chocolate.
I wish I had more fun.
-
Granted. But now you see fun as being a way to give physical pain to yourself.
I wish I actually had a car.
-
Granted, but someone has stolen the axles
I wish my desires for my girlfriend wasn't quite so desperate at the moment...
-
Granted. It's even more desperate.
I wish you would stop talking about your girlfriend. I mean every single post of yours in this thread has been about you girlfriend. I mean common!
-
Granted. Considering he's a Swede, he starts talking about his boyfriend. >:D
I wish people with "love" in their nicks wouldn't whine about love.
-
Granted, but they whine about hate, which you soon realize, is much worse.
I wish I could see inside your mind and find out what evil devils make you tick.
-
Granted, but you go insane instantaneously.
I wish I had a cute girl who I could box with.
-
Granted but she just uses you like a cheap gigolo before steamrolling your heart
I wish I was better at making varied wishes
-
Granted, but you're so good at it no one wants to play with you anymore.
I wish it was 3:30 so I could go home.
-
Granted, but it's 3:30 somewhere else.
I wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
-
Granted but I get no presents and I fall asleep just before 0.00... :-X hey, waitaminute! That wish does not qualify! >:(
I wish TV news was interesting!
-
Why wouldn't it.
Granted, but it's interesting because it shows global thermonuclear warfare.
I wish six wouldn't be afraid of seven.
-
Granted, but seven still eight nine.
I wish it wouldn't snow after Spring started.
-
I don't know whether I love you or hate you.
Granted, but spring starts in May.
I wish James Cameron would do Hamlet again with Arnold Schwarzenegger as Hamlet. The way it was done in Last Action Hero.
-
I don't know whether I love you or hate you.
You set me up!
Granted, but he still takes the Freudian interpretation of the fourth scene in Act III and Cher plays Hamlet's mother.
I wish directors would quit imposing semi-modern Oedipal psychology onto Elizabethan theater.
-
Granted, but it's imposed on everything else to ridiculous amounts.
I wish I could untap my divine powers and control them.
-
Granted, but without the spigot it gets messy.
I wish Pac Man would do a rap video of a remixed country song done in a classical jazz style
-
granted but it is so bad, it casues genocide and it is all your fualt so you are killed
i wish i had 1000 more posts
-
Granted but they all contain kiddie porn and you go to jail for a long time and make a lot of people very angry and murderous to you
I wish I could bath in chocolate
-
Granted, but it's costly. Feel free to, by the way, very relaxing.
I wish Elu hadn't posted his 666th post in one of the secret forums.
-
Granted but it was bad mouthing you.
I wish some sexy lady would join me in my chocolate bath
-
Granted, but once you start feeling her up it turns out "She" couldn't afford more than the upper body sex-change this time around... (God I'm evil)
I wish there was something interesting on Tv
-
(How's that evil?)
Congratulations, you now like TV Shop or Handel or whatever they call it there.
I wish I wasn't so hyper. Wheeeeeeeeee.
-
Granted, but you sink into debauchery and sloth and end up taking coke to relive the good old days.
I wish I was dead.
-
Granted, but I resurrect you and give you a reason to live. Served.
I wish I had signed up for citizenship earlier.
-
Granted, but you also get exiled earlier as a result
I wish the war between these two :fight: would finally end
-
Granted, but now they're drunks :drunks: .
I wish someone would completely PWN the games forum again...
-
Granted, but the Pwnage was so intense, that the everyone else has to dock and cover, thus being unable to experience this awesome event.
I wish the word Pwn and all its variations would be completely taken out of people's vocabulary.
-
Granted, but only to be replaced by kumquats.
I wish I remembered my dreams.
-
Granted, but it turns out you've been dreaming visions of horrific futures wherein Paris Hilton becomes the empress of Earth and enforces total whoredom on the women of the world. Enjoy the rampant STDs!
I wish I had a pet kitten.
-
Granted, but it's actually Satan in disguise and every time you pet it, you lose a part of your soul until you become a mindless wraith.
I wish mood swings wouldn't be this frequent.
-
Granted. They're more frequent now.
I wish my job didn't suck.
-
granted, but it still bites
I wish i was the best guitarist in the world ;)
-
Granted. I just don't have the heart to ruin that one, though.
I wish hot men would all walk around shirtless.
-
I'm not gonna grant that one.
I wish Fridays-café lasted forever
-
Granted, but Saturday-cafe goes out of business and homeless weekenders constantly beg you for spare change
I wish the response to "I wish my job didn't suck" was granted with "It now blows"
-
Granted, but the FCC arrests you for inappropriate content.
I wish I was God.
-
Granted....but you have to put up with the guilt of seeing so many people killing each other over what your name is or the best way to worship you....
I wish I wasn't so sunburnt.....
-
Granted. Your more sun-burnt.
I wish I had more creative wishes.
-
Granted, now they're on the same level as your replies. :clap:
I wish I had an SS uniform.
-
Granted...but you're only allowed to wear it to fetish nights....or you get beaten up constantly....
I wish I had some decent champagne....
-
Granted, but your definition is decent is very low, so you in reality receive the most piss-filled liquor that has ever excited.
I wish I had a soul.
-
Granted....but it is part owned by george bush and you are stained with his evil doings.....
I wish I could dance the foxtrot....
-
Granted, but you don't have a dance partner.
I wish my favorite swing club was open tonight!
-
Granted, but you are banned from it for some reason.
I wish my mood would stay good longer than usual.
-
Granted, but it's a good mood for a used car dealer and your friends no longer seem comfortable around you.
I wish space-time tasted more like grape jelly
-
Granted...but after a certain finite amount you get sick of the taste.....but have to keep tasting it into infinity....
I wish I had a cleaner to do the spring cleaning instead of me doing it again....
-
Granted but the cleaner has no sense of time and shows up in autumn time.
I wish my back wasn't hurting right now
-
Granted, but you don't notice when you break it.
I wish for unlimited wishes.
-
Granted but they all go horribly wrong and wishes to fix wishes only amplify the original problems.
I wish people weren't all uptight about swearing around kids
-
Granted, but as a result, everyone curses "dingleberries!"
I wish for immortality.
-
Granted, but you should have wished for invulnerability as well, after about 10,000 years of mishaps you're pretty much just a bunch of living chunks fly through space for eternity.
I wish more people kept dust pans in that drawer under the oven
-
Granted...but now everyone is pissed with you cos their dustpans have melted....
I wish I knew the point....
-
Granted, but it isn't very satisfying and you'd have been less depressed not knowing. Ignorance is bliss, my dearies.
I wish that saying was actually true.
-
Granted, but ignorance becomes the new smack and people spend all day smashing their heads off things looking for a better high
I wish this wasn't already so true in consumer society
-
whatever. i dont really care right now
i wish the VT shooting never happened
-
Not Granted, too early to make light of this in anyway
Although if the average person could separate the tragedy from the humorous nature of the thread I'd say "Granted. The shooter was from the future and the next 32 Hitler's now walk the Earth" If you see the humor past the tragedy (life goes on my friends) then enjoy the humor, if not then use the uppermost statement.
I wish you all the best.
-
Granted, but the "best" in this case makes us the 32 next Hitlers.
I wish this attempt goes well.
-
Granted, unfortunately it was an attempt to make skee-ball illegal and thanks to you it passes. God no longer comes to New Jersey
I wish taxes were -10%
-
Granted, but as a result everything costs 25% more.
-
You didnt make a wish wannabe.
-
I don't need wishes, I am reality.
-
That I created from my Pr0ness.
-
That is derived from the existence of the IPU.
-
That I also created.
-
To fix my past error, I wish I had someone to :fight: with.
-
Granted, but he thinks of it as foreplay.
I wish turtles had pretty wings to fly.
-
Granted, but they keep chewing them off in mid-air and crashing through your window and landing in your undie-drawer along with the broken glass... :trout:
I wish I had the means to liberate my girlfriend from her tyrranical mother (OOC: And please don't involve her father in the reply)
-
Granted. You have the means, but not the opportunity. (I feel bad being mean on that wish, though! :'()
I wish the turtles I wished for before wouldn't chew their wings; they're too cute!
-
Granted, but they form a Marxist society and take over the world with the help of O.M.G. Cute Turtles Unlimited, with O.M.G. being short for "Opportunity, Methods, Goals." (For some reason. ???)
I wish I could organise my papers a bit better.
-
Granted, but the government takes out a patent on your innovative organization methods and screw you out of the profits.
I wish politicians were incapable of lying.
-
Granted, but as a result people vote only for nationalist extremists who are the only ones who dare to say anything.
I wish the Revolution would come already.
-
Granted, but it's the Teletubby Revolution. Welcome to hell.
I wish I had a chocolate chip cookie.
-
Granted, but it's a chocolate Chip cookie, containing a black boy scout.
I wish for a pillow buddy, right here beside me.
-
Granted, but it's Buddy the ape.
I wish for a ream of pretty green paper.
-
Granted, but even though the paper is pretty, getting reamed by it leads to serious paper-cuts.
I wish Neela was here.
-
Granted, but since I have no bloody idea who that is you get Neelix from Star Trek: Voyager.
I wish I could leave my office to play in the lovely weather.
-
Granted, but... eh... you... err... you have to work a bit extra later on?
I wish people would never understand each other as well as I understand them.
-
Granted, but now no one has any meaningful discourse because they don't connect with one another's emotions.
I wish people would understand one another much more clearly.
-
Granted, but as a result communication ceases to function and the police start monitoring thought crimes. Welcome to 1984.
I wish I'd done this earlier.
-
Granted. You did it so long ago you can barely remember it.
I wish I knew what ^ was talking about.
-
Granted, but you'll have to ask in private.
I wish I could see the look on Taijituan rightists' faces when they see my new sig.
-
Granted, but it haunts you to your death bed and beyond.
I wish avocados were always ripe
-
They are, but instead you expire at their old rate.
I wish this thread would live again.
-
granted - but its because of me!
i wish i was good at sports
-
granted but then nobdoy will paly with you and u end up in a spril of drugs and beer
i wish i knoew what the ehck happened while i was gone
-
Granted, but now you know too much and have to be put down
I wish beer batter was a main course
-
granted, but ..err, wot the hell i'll leave it cos tht sounds nice!
i wish all fish was cooked in beer batter
-
granted, but you became drunk and kill yourself
I wish i knew why Osma bin laden is werid
-
Granted, you find out here's weird because that's the way the media makes him out to be. You meet the real Osama, talk about video games and have a wonderful new friend.
I wish water slides took the place of sidewalks
-
Granted, but a rebellion forms and burns all of the bath-suit factories, forcing you to see gross and deformed breasts and penises whenever you go down the street.
-
i wish the breats werent deformed....
-
Yo no entiendo...
-
Your wish is granted, but no one knows what it means so they just fill you full of ham sandwiches and throw you into the sun.
I wish my space ship worked
-
granted, but its crappy and it blows up.
I wish i could fly.
-
You can...just like Icarus. Then you go too close to the sun, your wings burn off, and you plummet.
I wish my pillow was softer...
-
Granted. Your pillow is now so soft your head sinks right down to mattress level and offers zero comfort.
I wish I had nine arms. Bitchin'.
-
Your wish is my command...good luck ever walking through a door again.
I wish Harry Potter wasn't going to be finished in 13 hours.
-
Granted. Every copy of book 7 on the planet burns and no more are ever made; this way it will never end.
-
*Well, I guess I'd have to look at those online screenshots, then.*
And your wish is...?
-
Damn, sorry. Distracted. ::)
I wish my stapler was full of vodka.
-
Granted...now every paper you staple has a noticeable splotch in the top...you do that once on an envelope, and the combination of envelope "sticky stuff" and vodka sends noxious fumes into the air that knocks you out.
I wish I had a time machine.
-
Granted, but the time machine only has an on/off switch. Moving it to the off position stops time.
I wish people'd get it.
-
Granted, but 'it' happens to be selected parts of your body.
I wish I get a job soon
-
granted but its a male hooker.
I wish i could have more cookies.
-
Granted, but they are all singed and the baker's apprentice managed to use salt instead of sugar...
I wish I had someone here to help me clean the house tomorrow
-
granted, but its a hot chick and he seduces you to sleep with her and your girlfriend comes home.
I wish I could get my gameflys right now.
-
OT: Umm... technically the second part of that would be impossible IRL and the first part is pretty much impossible too... but still.
Granted, but they only play around with eachother
I wish Someone besides Barak would answer the next one O:-)
-
Granted, but now you have to put up with me.
I wish I could win this damn ninja/pirate war.
-
granted, but the pirates wage a guerrilla war, so you give up.
i wish the other pirates would come online and help us.
-
Granted, but only if you jump overboard
I wish Barak had better timing sometimes
-
OOC: Sorry, i have a Little sugar rush. 7 cookies and 3 Brownies can really give you a boost
granted, but im to good for you, so you get mad
I wish that i owned a Xbox 360.
-
Granted, but you go to prison for stealing it.
I wish I was a really good artist.
-
granted, but you are to only to one person
I wish i knew why Scarface had to die in the end of the movie.
-
Granted...you shot him. (Yay, more jail time)
I wish I could win the lottery.
-
Granted. You win the lottery and use all the money to pay off your extravagant gambling debts.
I wish I had a kitten named Chloe.
-
Granted, but she is extremely fond of climbing your curtains, furniture and attacking your toes all night long...
I wish I was less dependant on physical confirmation
-
Granted, but now that you don't require physical confirmation at all your woman feels undesirable.
I wish pigs had wings.
-
Granted, you are suddenly hit by a half-pound pig turd falling from great height...
I wish I could be invisible at will
-
Granted. On one of the occasions upon which you have willed yourself invisible, you grandparents come into the room and, not realizing you're there, start getting undressed. You are now scarred for life, dearie.
I wish this bag of Cheeto's was bigger (and full again).
-
Granted, it's now so big you get lost in it and have to eat your way out getting congestion problems and an inflamed appendix in a few days...
I wish I could visit Al'
-
Granted, but AL is a big 50 year old guy with a beer belly who cleans sewers and swears alot.
-
I wish everyone made a wish. ^_^
-
Granted...the crazy dude who wished for the end of the world gets his wish, too.
I wish I had more pancakes.
-
Granted. Pancake-lust, however, overcomes those closest to you and they betray you to get your tasty treats, in the end.
-
i wish i had a superpower...
-
Granted...your flatulence can knock out the strongest person, and literally burns holes in clothing.
I wish ______ was ______.
-
granted. your is now pregnant with Satan's baby
-
I wish Satan had a kind baby.