Granted Wishes

[Allama]

Granted, but since I have no bloody idea who that is you get Neelix from Star Trek: Voyager.

I wish I could leave my office to play in the lovely weather.

[Solnath]

Granted, but... eh... you... err... you have to work a bit extra later on?

I wish people would never understand each other as well as I understand them.

[Allama]

Granted, but now no one has any meaningful discourse because they don't connect with one another's emotions.

I wish people would understand one another much more clearly.

[Solnath]

Granted, but as a result communication ceases to function and the police start monitoring thought crimes. Welcome to 1984.

I wish I'd done this earlier.

[Allama]

Granted.  You did it so long ago you can barely remember it.

I wish I knew what ^ was talking about.

[Solnath]

Granted, but you'll have to ask in private.

I wish I could see the look on Taijituan rightists' faces when they see my new sig.

[Tacolicious]

Granted, but it haunts you to your death bed and beyond.

I wish avocados were always ripe

[Solnath]

They are, but instead you expire at their old rate.

I wish this thread would live again.

[orsis]

granted - but its because of me!

i wish i was good at sports

[Bara]

granted but then nobdoy will paly with you and u end up in a spril of drugs and beer

i wish i knoew what the ehck happened while i was gone

[Tacolicious]

Granted, but now you know too much and have to be put down

I wish beer batter was a main course

[orsis]

granted, but ..err, wot the hell i'll leave it cos tht sounds nice!

i wish all fish was cooked in beer batter

[Bara]

granted, but you became drunk and kill yourself

I wish i knew why Osma bin laden is werid

[Tacolicious]

Granted, you find out here's weird because that's the way the media makes him out to be. You meet the real Osama, talk about video games and have a wonderful new friend.

I wish water slides took the place of sidewalks

[Algerianbania]

Granted, but a rebellion forms and burns all of the bath-suit factories, forcing you to see gross and deformed breasts and penises whenever you go down the street.