Granted Wishes

[Bara]

Granted but you have to work a freak show doing it

I wish i could understand what my dog was barking about

[Solnath]

Granted, but you realise he's been calling you an idiot all these past years so you are broken by the treatchery of your companion.

I wish I understood Arabic.

[Tacolicious]

Granted but it is now the only language you can understand.

I wish spiders had nine legs

[Algerianbania]

Granted, but the extra body weight causes it to fall off the table you put it, and the dog steps on it.

I wish I cried less.

[Tacolicious]

Granted you now stop crying 3 microseconds sooner then you normally would but it hurts ten times as much.

I wish my download would hurry up.

[orsis]

granted - but the downloads fucked

i wish i could walk through walls

[Solnath]

Granted, but only through Japanese paper walls.

I wish I cried more.

[Allama]

Granted.  Being unable to get moisture into your body at a sufficient rate to compensate for the unstoppable crying, you dehydrate and die.

I wish my desk had a built-in candy machine.

[Bara]

granted but it is in a wrong place and everybody wants your candy

i wish i knew what the Heck Cheiwe in Star Wars was saying

[Algerianbania]

Granted. But he's actually say, "Let's kill Boba Fett!" And then you need to run and hide for the rest of your life.

I wish I had my leg back.

[Bara]

Granted but its not your leg, its a sudice bombers leg and it kills you

i wish i knew what boa fett looked like without his amour on( the adult version!)

[Varkour]

granted, but he is actually Michael Jackson and he takes you to Neverland Ranch for the weekend.

I wish Leonidas I survived the battle of Thermopylae...

[Allama]

Granted, but the sad remainder of life is trite and meaningless.

I wish I had more than a half hour for lunch.

[Solnath]

Granted, but you are constantly harassed during lunch.

I wish I had a time machine.

[Algerianbania]

Granted. But I steal it.

I wish I had a time machine.